Tuesday, September 14, 2010

4

Today is Ty's 4th birthday. He is 4. Four. 4.





4. 4 years of intense love and joy. 4 years having my heart running around outside my body. 4 years since I looked at my own mother and "got it." 4 years of diapers-turned-underwear, milk-turned-macaroni, babbling-turned-words. 4 years of constant growth, watching it physically and feeling it spiritually.

4 years of worry I didn't know I had in me. 4 years of wishing I could do a better job for him. 4 whole years.





Today I took Ty on a little date. He wanted to go to Cici's and Toys-R-Us. Today was a happy day for my boy. He gets it. He woke up yelling, "It's my birthday! I'm four! Hey everybody it's my birthday!"

I woke up thinking, "How did this happen so fast?" Sean told me this morning that he remembers the fear that swept over him when Ty was about to be born. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't coherent to be honest. I was drugged.

Very, very drugged.

And drowsy. Months of sleeplessness and hours of epidural drugs will do that to you. But I wasn't scared.

Maybe I should have been. To look back now and think of the impact that what I say has on him, and what a smile from me can do for him, I'm totally humbled. Thankful that God is teaching me. Grateful that Sean is who is raising our kids with me. I'm in awe at this huge job that I've been given.

Four years ago today I became a momma. And I'm so very thankful that God gave me Ty. Happy Birthday buddy.

6 comments:

Michelle said...

LOVE this post! It made me tear up and think about my own son's fourth birthday fast approaching. Happy birthday little man and happy four year motherhood anniversary to you.

Dana said...

WooHoo! Happy Birthday Ty! Sam had a great day on his (13th). We spent the day at homeschool co-op. He said he had fun because he knew he had presents at home. :o)

Carley said...

Happy Birthday Ty!! The Stevenson's love you very much and remember the day you were born and meeting you for the first time and watching your mom shake uncontrolably while she came down for the epidural and c-section drugs! It's been a fun 4 years watching you grow up!

We Three Smiths + 1 said...

Wow! Happy Birthday, Ty!

ConnieMomaLightner said...

Awwww Mary, you had to go and make me cry on my birthday...Such a sweet post about your precioius little man. Happy Ty had such a good birthday, but even more happy that he has you for a Moma!
Love,
Connie

Heather said...

Such a sweet post Mary! Happy Birthday Ty! All the fun began with you little man!