4. 4 years of intense love and joy. 4 years having my heart running around outside my body. 4 years since I looked at my own mother and "got it." 4 years of diapers-turned-underwear, milk-turned-macaroni, babbling-turned-words. 4 years of constant growth, watching it physically and feeling it spiritually.
4 years of worry I didn't know I had in me. 4 years of wishing I could do a better job for him. 4 whole years.
Today I took Ty on a little date. He wanted to go to Cici's and Toys-R-Us. Today was a happy day for my boy. He gets it. He woke up yelling, "It's my birthday! I'm four! Hey everybody it's my birthday!"
I woke up thinking, "How did this happen so fast?" Sean told me this morning that he remembers the fear that swept over him when Ty was about to be born. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't coherent to be honest. I was drugged.
Very, very drugged.
And drowsy. Months of sleeplessness and hours of epidural drugs will do that to you. But I wasn't scared.
Maybe I should have been. To look back now and think of the impact that what I say has on him, and what a smile from me can do for him, I'm totally humbled. Thankful that God is teaching me. Grateful that Sean is who is raising our kids with me. I'm in awe at this huge job that I've been given.
Four years ago today I became a momma. And I'm so very thankful that God gave me Ty. Happy Birthday buddy.