Monday, April 16, 2012

It's finally here. The first day that the hope for a joy-filled future really feels, well, full of hope.

Tonight I watched Ty round the bases at his Tball game and for the first time I didn't think, "You're missing it. Sean, why? Look at all you're missing!"

I just looked out there at my handsome little man and thought, "I'm so proud of him. He's doing it, he's really getting it and he's loving it!"

The rest of our lives will no doubt be laced with stories about Sean and with memories we can share. This ugly stuff, though, I'm ready to let it go. Counselor friends, am I normal?

(asked with a wink.)

That's the big secret of counseling. No one is normal. Not even the counselors. Don't tell them I told you.

I'm no fool. I know there will be more tears and more punches thrown. There'll be lots of questions and not as many answers. There will be nights when I can't stop crying and mornings when all I can muster is, "Help me, Lord." But there'll be HOPE for a day when we all get to Heaven and there won't be pain. No more unanswered questions. What a day that will be!

Until that day, He can keep us moving and keep us on track. He can pick me up and carry my burdens for me, teaching me to trust Him more every day. Like I've said a hundred times here, He is who He says He is.

Jesus, name above all names. Beautiful Savior, Glorious Lord. Emmanuel, God is with us. Blessed Redeemer, Living Word.

Feeling blessed tonight. Just had to share!


Mommarazzi said...

Love this Mary! So thankful for hope.

Mary said...

Lindsay I love that you were reading at 1 am...the life of a momma with new babies!!!!

Allison said...

you are awesome. Lifting you up in prayer daily. keep posting!!

Michelle said... good to hear! Thinking of you guys often!