I wish you could see all of the clothes and suitcases I need to unpack. Y'all would cry with me. I'm crying now for totally different reasons and I'm trying to trust God in all things right now and I'm struggling. Y'all have to trust me that what I'm working through is not my story to tell so I won't tell it. Writing is therapy for me so I can't hide out any longer though. Bear with me, okay?
I've seen many miracles regarding healing and peace these last few years so I completely believe it is possible. I've felt anger and abandonment and I hate when people I love are hurting and I'm helpless. I don't want anyone to feel abandoned because I know what that feels like. It makes you feel unwanted, unimportant, unchosen (is that a word?) and small.
Will y'all allow me to just process what I'm trying to learn and trust God for without getting specific?
I assume you said yes.
See, here's the thing. It's easy to trust God now in some areas because like I said I've known true healing and peace. Nothing about my circumstances added up to either one of those things. He gave me that assurance, that proof that He's with me. I'm forever grateful for that!
When things unravel I am quick to fear though, which I hate. I'm not even sure what I fear more-the actual thing or the fact that I am so fearful that it scares me.
Y'all we managed to turn a 13 hour drive into a 17 hour one yesterday. My brain is tired. My body is in sleep mode even now as I'm typing. Bless your heart.
You still there?
Want to see some pictures?
See this picture?
Other than the fact that my girls don't have pants on because they'd just gotten out of the river and their pant legs were soaked, there's something else to mention here. The fisherman. He's a constant reminder that God knows me and my heart. I've known him for a few months now and he's a fun, genuine, kind man who loves Jesus. We spent the last week with his family. We camped, played, fished, ate, and laughed our way through Crested Butte. It was a great trip and now I'm good to avoid my car altogether for like 2 weeks.