So I kinda fell apart

Ty's school was perfect. He has three teachers, all of them adorable and sweet. Since Jennie kept Charlie we walked into the church (not our church,) and looked for his class. It didn't take long to figure out that we would have to go upstairs. Now, with Ty and Joy-who happily stayed in the Baby Bjorn carrier-taking the stairs to avoid the elevator wasn't a big deal. Not having Charlie with us meant we could skip a stroller. When it's just me taking him, in a mere few days, I'll put Joy and Charlie in the double stroller and have Ty hold onto it. Yes friends we're facing two scary obstacles: the elevator and a milestone.

Now, I've never been very emotional about school. Mom says I never wanted to leave school/church because I was 1)the third kid and 2)happy as long as I was playing with toys and fed. I didn't anticipate feeling a tug at my heart when I signed him up for preschool.

But I watched him in his little class, watched him cling to Sean, and imagined what will happen on his first real day. I felt that first twinge of, "I feel helpless...I won't see him, help him, feed him, etc and before I know it he will be in real school. Before I know it he will run into the room and never look back."

And there in that little room in that very big church, I was reminded how fast we came to this day. Some days it seems like our kids will never grow up. The day-in, day-out caretaking takes a toll. We wish they were more independent. But today I decided it was okay to freeze time and enjoy it. I decided I'm gonna work on enjoying sending him off and making the most of the time with only the girls and then be first in line to pick him up. And I'm gonna try to get some good practice under my belt for when they are in real school and I find myself totally clueless about what to do with my time.

So there you have it: what I envisioned as a necessary but not important day turned out to be an important one after all.