Sunday, February 26, 2012

Rut

I'm in a rut. I know why, and I know it's "okay" right now but I hate being in a rut. Going through the routine, the motions. Getting frustrated when something is spilled or broken. Getting impatient with life. It's as if I can see the light at the end of the tunnel to carefree-land but I'm stuck in quicksand at the entrance.

Grief is weird. It's predictable in its pattern, but then it's not the same for everybody. I want so badly to have a timeline that I can focus on. In two months, you'll feel____, in three you'll feel____ and the sadness will be overshadowed with hope in _____. But nobody knows. Nobody can tell me because nobody knows. Counselors, pastors, friends, family members, they're all helping. Prayers are helping. I'd be a mess without prayer. I can feel the support through your prayers. I'm so thankful.

So I'm in a rut. Y'all pray that I let God get me out of it, would you? Being in a rut does not make a happy mommy. Or a happy daughter to my parents who are carrying the immediate burdens of me and the kids.

Thanks y'all.

4 comments:

We Three Smiths + 1 said...

Praying for you always friend...HE will find your way out of this rut. All of our love...and CALL ME if you NEED ANYTHING!! I don't always call/text because I don't want to nag you, but FEEL FREE to nag me all you want!!

Carley said...

I love you friend! We are praying all the time!

Tom and Katie said...

Been praying for you lots!

Judi said...

Knowledge is knowing you are in a rut. Wisdom is knowing only God can get you out! I am sad that you are having to get "wise". But i am confident that if anyone can persevere it is you!!!