Thursday, April 11, 2013

Reading, writing, and no arithmetic

I love to read. I've been re-reading 1000 Gifts these last few weeks and it's beautiful. I seek out ways to turn glory to God when my heart is aware of His gifts. They're everywhere. I'm also reading about grace, because I think I'm finally on the edge of understanding it. I've never been given such grace as I have in the last few years. I'm seeing it for what it is-not a reward or a form of payment for my hard work, but a gift. And I hope with all I am that I've given it more lately. Nothing will make your heart happier than grace.

I told someone my story this week and found myself using the words "grace" and "provision" more than "pain" and "betrayal," so I know firsthand about restorative grace. It was with an empty request for help I stood before Him and in return I felt grace pour over me. I felt life come back into my body and love back into my heart. Only God can do that.

I've been writing too, in a secret place where I don't have to use spellcheck (!!) or think through who might be reading. Y'all talk about therapeutic. My goal is to make time to empty my head onto paper on days that I feel overwhelmed. It's not as often, no. It happens though.

Did I think a day would come that I could just walk happily along without thinking about the heavy stuff? No. No way. I have days like that too though! I do. Restorative grace. It's life-giving. It restores hope and you know how I feel about hope. I fear I may try to make a future pet or child Hope, which would be fine as long as I didn't name them both that. That reminds me...did you know I named Charlie after my favorite dog? True story. Do y'all worry about my sanity?

Don't answer that.

1 comment:

Dana said...

Restorative that!!!