Wednesday, April 3, 2013

So...He knows

He knows...

My fears
My desires
My aches
My past
My future
My heart.

He knows it all.

I don't need to tell you it's been a rough stretch. Y'all it's like every day we get more news related to a challenge ahead. Every day! Y'all somebody asked me if I thought God was trying to tell me something and I honestly replied, "Well obviously I'm not doing something right!" I quickly corrected myself. It's not about me is it? Nope not at all. He's not punishing me or my family, even though it feels like the flow of crazy is constant. Constant. Non-stop. Well it stopped two days ago. It's the calm in the storm I have no doubt. Bracing myself for the next thing. Uhhhhh wait a that fear I hear?

Oh boy.

More than ever I'm determined to squash fear. Squash it. That's a very technical term. The life I want is grounded in love. And in scripture it says that there is no fear in perfect love--in God's love and in His presence we don't have to fear. That's where I want to live. It's where I want my kids to live! Oh Lord more than anything I want them to conquer fear better than I do. Imagine what they could do if they didn't worry. Just think of what I could do if I didn't! Wow. I'm on a roll y'all.

I've been trying to memorize more scripture and surprise! It stays in my heart and is ready to help every time I hit a wall.

There have been kind of a lot of walls lately.

As Ty would say, "ten hundred million crazy tens of thousands" of walls.

The boy is gonna support me one day, you mark my words. This month is autism awareness month. If you're reading this blog then you know a child with autism. You've supported a momma of an autistic child because you've supported me and encouraged me these last few years. You've been touched by autism. I hope that it's not as scary to you after "meeting" Ty. If I have any hope related to sharing stories about Ty it's that another parent won't feel alone in the battle. I've got an army of friends with kids like Ty behind me, pushing me and lifting me up. My goal is to do that here, in this way as much as possible. It's true what they say--it takes a village. Boy howdy I have a huge one rooting us on. My cup overflows, even in the midst of the crazy around here lately. Ty is continuing to make progress, the girls are more and more independent, (minus a few good whines every day,) and I'm seeing answer after answer to my prayers.

He is faithful. He really is.

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