My namesake

There he is in the middle of chaos just hanging out and enjoying the sun.

Until...

Until a big spray of water out of the clear blue sky threatens his hangout spot and he has to scramble to make it to safety, (the fence, in this case.) His plan changes in a second. My guess is he doesn't even remember the first plan at this point he just looks around and thinks about his next move.

Yep, I'm with you buddy. We are two peas in a pod.

Home again...again

We got home today from Colorado. Moment of silence.

I wish you could see all of the clothes and suitcases I need to unpack. Y'all would cry with me. I'm crying now for totally different reasons and I'm trying to trust God in all things right now and I'm struggling. Y'all have to trust me that what I'm working through is not my story to tell so I won't tell it. Writing is therapy for me so I can't hide out any longer though. Bear with me, okay?

I've seen many miracles regarding healing and peace these last few years so I completely believe it is possible. I've felt anger and abandonment and I hate when people I love are hurting and I'm helpless. I don't want anyone to feel abandoned because I know what that feels like. It makes you feel unwanted, unimportant, unchosen (is that a word?) and small.

Will y'all allow me to just process what I'm trying to learn and trust God for without getting specific?


I assume you said yes.

Mmmmkay.

See, here's the thing. It's easy to trust God now in some areas because like I said I've known true healing and peace. Nothing about my circumstances added up to either one of those things. He gave me that assurance, that proof that He's with me. I'm forever grateful for that!

When things unravel I am quick to fear though, which I hate. I'm not even sure what I fear more-the actual thing or the fact that I am so fearful that it scares me.

Never mind.

Y'all we managed to turn a 13 hour drive into a 17 hour one yesterday. My brain is tired. My body is in sleep mode even now as I'm typing. Bless your heart.

You still there?

Want to see some pictures?
























































See this picture?




Other than the fact that my girls don't have pants on because they'd just gotten out of the river and their pant legs were soaked, there's something else to mention here. The fisherman. He's a constant reminder that God knows me and my heart. I've known him for a few months now and he's a fun, genuine, kind man who loves Jesus. We spent the last week with his family. We camped, played, fished, ate, and laughed our way through Crested Butte. It was a great trip and now I'm good to avoid my car altogether for like 2 weeks.

The End.

On the road again

Y'all it's been kind of a busy summer. We got home from Florida and about a week later got back into the car to drive to Colorado. I'm not gonna lie. I'm exhausted.

But so so thankful for the fun things that we get to do. Packing and unpacking every day for two weeks isn't my favorite but once I have a rest day I'm over it and can relax. I've learned that the kids do better on road trips the older they are. News flash! Babies and toddlers are harder to travel with than 4,5, and 6 year olds!

You're welcome.

So here is this week's view:















Nobody has pants on in this picture. Underwear, yes. Pants, no.



I love my life

Summer summer summer time

Sometimes I give in and just give my kids what they're whining for.


Case in point


Her you go, Joy. Drink up. I'm trying to stop drinking them but I allow my child to?

I'm a terrible parent.

Moving on.

How has y'all's summer been?? My word it's going by fast. Nobody in my circus is in summer school so these last few weeks have shown me what it'd be like if I homeschooled the kids.

It hasn't gone well.

I'm glad our public school system is so good because y'all, it just wouldn't be pretty if I was in charge of educating them on things like...well, anything.

We have lots of fun though. See.



Eating homegrown carrots



Playing with cousins



Eating



Staying in a fun local hotel



With balloon animals (or flowers in our case)



We go camping at Bass Pro Shop. Nice weather for camping there.



And they have fish to look at.

Y'all I'm so tired by the end of the day so far this summer. Has it always been this hot here during June? Am I losing my mind?

Nobody answer that.

Home

Doing our favorite thing-coloring

Life is good

Here

I've been MIA I know...but there's literally been so much action! We drove to Florida in two days and I'm so proud of the kids. We've come a long way from our first road trip here. Thankful.

Sometimes I cry over spilled milk

The blur of the last few weeks before summer...

We're there. Recital, last tball game, last time at gymnastics, last day of school for the girls, programs. I've seen a lot.

Know how many times I've remembered my real camera?

One time. The girls' recital. I've got lots of cute pictures from that thankfully. Ty's Kindergarten graduation? I have three videos on my phone and two blurry faraway pictures.

I'm a bad parent. No I'm not. I'm just tired. And it's possible I'm a little bit cranky.

Last night Joy spilled her milk because she grabbed it off the counter before I could put the lid on. I cried. I got onto her for spilling milk after she sat at her brother's program for an hour. And she sat pretty quietly. Ugh. I didn't cry during the program because it was so funny. So so funny. I almost cried when Ty walked up to the microphone and said his name confidently. We've come so far! Then I almost cried watching kid after kid run into their daddy's arms after they were done. Then seeing Ty be so proud of himself that he did his best and handled the noise like noise doesn't bother him.

That's lots of tears to hold in y'all.

I think that's why I lost it over the milk. Tears can only hold back so long. Why do we fight them?

I say let's all just let them flow. Matthew 12:34 says the overflow of the heart the mouth will speak. Last night my heart was overwhelmed with emotion that I kept in and then one tip the wrong direction and I took it all out on my four year-old and her accident. Why? So other parents watching their kids wouldn't see me cry? Um...

Really Mary??????

Ok so from now on I'm just gonna cry if I need to. I apologize in advance.