I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they were all written, The days fashioned for me
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You."
Psalm 139:13-18
Yesterday sitting in church after tearing up during almost every song, I heard these words that gave me great peace about today and any appointment coming up about Joy. Our pastor said that Truth (the Bible) releases us from fears and superstitions, allows us to live with confidence, gives us strength when we are tested, and stabilizes our faith. He said much more that I couldn't write down fast enough but overall it was hugely encouraging to me. Instead of staying up late last night trying to find more information about Joy's issues, (which is what I've done almost every day for a week,) I looked at this part of my favorite Psalm and thought, Yeah, I believe that. What am I worried about? That God isn't paying attention? That He messed up while He was making her? Maybe that He forgot about her? None of that is the Truth.
And I know that. I know that God is real and alive and well. That will not change over time or our circumstances. Forgive the sloppy quote but as C.S. Lewis said, "Because of what I have seen, I will trust the Creator for what I have not yet seen."
Our appt. is at 12:30 and I will update as soon as I can to share what we learned. Thank you so much for praying for our little girl! Emmy, sorry about the "Ain't."
3 comments:
Mary, we're praying for you today! You are SO right on sister... our God has loved and intimately knows Joy already...He has a plan for her future and yours as well. Thanks for keeping us posted!
Mary, we too are praying for you guys. I remember the terrible anticipation before every appointment. I would avert my eyes as the tech would scan back and forth over the lesion on Lizzie's spine and the gaps in her skull. As a mommy, it is heart breaking and you just want to somehow make it all better. We are praying for God to heal Joy. Just keep meditating on His word. God has not made a mistake, as I know that you know. He has purposely given Joy to you because He knows that He can trust you with her. He knows that you are the best caregivers for her and that you will grow closer to Him for the strength to endure. She is a blessing, and I know she has already made a difference to those that know and love you guys!
I'm reading this at your house while you are at your appointment! I know you were nervous when you left but still at peace. You are the mom that the Lord wanted Joy to have and she is one blessed baby! You and Sean are strong together! I can't imagine the anticipation you are feeling right now but I am amazed by your strength! I'm glad God blessed your this morning with a fun distraction! He is faithful in all circumstances! We love you guys and your kids!
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