Thursday, January 20, 2011

You are not alone

If you've found yourself thinking of ways to help your dog run away and find a new family,
you are not alone.

If you occasionally eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,
you are not alone.

If the sound of drums sends you into an alternate state of consciousness, where you can actually parent while pretending you're on an island by yourself,
you are not alone.

If the words, "Uh-oh Mom, I pooped," are heard more than once around your home every day,
you are not alone.

If the good Lord above is the only reason you haven't checked yourself into a self help facility,
you are not alone.

If a new pack of gum in a summertime (watermelon) flavor makes you happy for at least three days,
you are not alone.

If you have every Baby Einstein video memorized,
you are not alone.

If your social calendar resembles one from a nursing home,
you are not alone.

If your pediatrician and/or your OB nurse knows your phone number by heart,
you are not alone.

If your idea of a perfect day includes a trip to Sonic during happy hour,
you are not alone.

If you can wipe a nose and a rear-end simultaneously,
you are not alone.

If, when you hear the words, "Honey, I'm home," you break into dance,
you are not alone.

If you or your spouse once asked where the "returns" department is at the newborn nursery of a hospital,
you are not alone.

If you accumulate more ziploc baggies in your purse than any other item,
you are not alone.

If you grow to appreciate Barney and Elmo and even Yo Gabba Gabba,
you are not alone.

If you ask God to give you patience 400 times a day,
you are not alone.

Edited to add Emmy's suggestion: If the interior of your car hasn't been clean in four years,
you are not alone.

I am with you.

Don't forget about my giveaway. You still have time to enter.

7 comments:

Emmy said...

I have another for you: If the interior of your car hasn't been clean for more than 4 years...

Mary said...

Yep exactly. And if it doesn't bother you at all too.

Michelle said...

I had to pass the computer over to Justin for this one! Too great! Here are a few more...
If you spend more than 100 a week for doctor's visits, you are not alone!
If you gently place a SCREAMING, HITTING, and KICKING toddler into her crib so she can safely throw a tantrum, you are not alone.
This has been quite a week!!!

Michelle said...

By the way, I love your new blog layout. Does she do this for a business? I could really use one!

Mary said...

Oh Michelle we lead parallel lives! Now y'all need to move back to Hatch too :) the tantrum thing is hilarious. Gotta laugh when they're that mad. Joy gets so mad when I tell her "no" sometimes she throws up. Like on purpose I think.

Jenna Vineyard said...

Give me Max. He can come live at my house! :) 2. Is it bad that I almost all of the above and I am not a parent? HAHAHAHA!

We Three Smiths + 1 said...

Holy Tamolie...thank goodness!!! We're all in this thing together, lol!!