Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Just keep swimming

The last two days my emotions have been all over the map. I get really tired and cranky then I feel rejuvenated and prayed over-my attitude changes. I plow through a few hours of doing normal things then I crash into a crying mess. I preheat the oven then call and order a pizza. I have no memory. There are half eaten packages of crackers and half empty sippy cups everywhere. Actually that describes most homes with little kids. Never mind. My parents are staying with me for now, (so thankful) and I still feel like a hamster on a wheel. I mean how did I manage to meet the needs of three kids without anyone feeling neglected? Or did I? Good Lord y'all I don't remember.

Hi I'm Mary and I'm even more like Dori than I thought. Is that how you spell Dori? (The blue fish in Finding Nemo) How is it that I missed this comparison before now?

Anyway.

In recent sports news Ty has suddenly shown interest in the Mavericks. My first suspicion was that he only cared when it was a late game, (when he should be sleeping.) I thought he was just stalling when he asked to watch the game. Then he asked me to record one for him and I did. He sat and watched it in the middle of the afternoon and gave me his own version of a basketball commentary. Keep in mind that he doesn't know anything about basketball, which makes his commentary awesome.

I can't write about our day without telling y'all about a few funny and a few hard moments.

Funny:

"Joy, do you need a new diaper?" "No. I not. I go on the potty." "Great, let's go to the potty." "I need new diaper." (me and Joy)

"Ty said he's the bigger brother and I'm the little brother but I'm not a brother I'm a sister and that makes me sad that he said that. I think a starburst would help me stop being sad." (Charlie)

"Mom, I think I want a cat." "No, now's not the best time to get a new pet." "Why?" "Well because if we get a kitten or a puppy it might get out of the house when one of you leaves the door open." "Mom, I'll make sure Ty and Joy keep the door shut so we can get a cat. We could just go get it tomorrow." (Charlie=the constant door-opening bandit)

"No, I don't like pancakes. I don't want a pancake. How about pizza for breakfast?" "Sure, okay." "But Mom, I changed my mind. I think I'll have sweet tarts instead for my breakfast. Yeah, that's a good plan." (Ty)

The sad ones, (aka what keeps me asking God for help every second,)

"Mom, does Max miss Daddy too?"
"Can we FaceTime Daddy in Heaven?"
"Do you think we can visit Heaven when I get a little bigger? I'd get carsick if we try to go now."
"What do you think Daddy eats for breakfast in Heaven?"

My favorite today:

"Look at my picture Mommy it's beautiful. I think I'll go show Daddy!" "Honey, remember Daddy lives in Heaven? You can talk to him when we pray but he's not at home, remember?" "Okay mom I'll just show him when we pray after we brush our teeth. He can see my picture from Heaven. I made it really big on the paper."

Lord, be near. I don't want to miss a second of talking to them about Heaven and hearing their questions but sometimes it stings so bad it's hard to breathe. Sometimes (often) I want to climb in bed and stay there. But then somebody needs me so I realize that I need to keep moving, keep walking. One minute at a time, that's my motto. That's all God expects from me, just to keep on trying. Or just keep swimming, in my case.

Good night y'all. Thanks for listening. Please don't stop praying!

9 comments:

Michelle said...

Praying constantly...Love the Starburst remark!

Carley said...

Cody is really in to Finding Nemo because he got it for Christmas and he will walk around talking like a whale like Dori does. Funny that you compared yourself to her...that made me laugh!

Love reading the quotes from the kids. I can hear them saying them as I read them. I love how Charlie reasons with you. Fun that Ty is all in to sports and would love to hear his commentary. That Joy...she's will probably potty train herself. Oh Mar, the comments about Sean and heaven. Breaks my heart. I can only imagine the sting you get but I am constantly amazed by the strength you find to be the mommy they need.

We pray for you all the time! Good to hear your voice today. We love you!

The Rodriguez Crew said...

Oh my word, I've read your blog maybe 3 times ever (using PoeFam as a blog roll, I have landed here sporadically).... And I just had to take a minute to comment to you. I will absolutely sit and pray for you right now. My eyes are filled with tears for your broken heart. You are doing a WONDERFUL job, keep moving those feet, your husband is so proud of you I know! Bless your sweet family.

Emmy said...

I read all the kids funny (and sad) quotes out loud to Ethan. We just cracked up!
It's so easy to imagine them saying that stuff.
I think it's great that they ask questions and say they miss their Daddy. All of our talk about him, their memories, his love for them, funny stories, it's all just being added to a "Daddy Account" that they will always be able to access.

Sarah Catherine said...

I think Charlie has a pretty good point about that kitten!

Emily said...

Mar, what an awesome post. I wish I could meet your kiddos. They seem like such characters! Keep swimming friend. And know that you are so loved and prayed over!

We Three Smiths + 1 said...

You've always made me laugh aloud to myself as I read your blog. I see my kids in your kids. I got a huge lump in my throat when I read the comments about Heaven...you're so strong and I think about you all the time. All of you are constantly in my prayers...He doesn't give us things we can't handle and I know you will keep moving and progressing...second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

Joelle said...

I find your blog very hard to read, Mary. It reminds me of so many emotions and the despair that came after I lost my brother. It was in those days that I also came to know a more powerful, sweeter God than I had ever known. He can use everything to His glory. Still praying...

Sandra's Fiberworks said...

Found you via grumpy grateful mom, one of my favorite bloggers. And love your honesty here! My boys are now in first and second grade, but I remember well the crackers and soppy cups everywhere! It's ok to NOT love every mothering moment and I commendcthosecmoms honest enough to say so! New follower here.