I fell and I couldn't get up

It's 12:20 pm and I'm ready for tomorrow.

This morning was our first appointment for Ty's speech therapy at the place he goes (will go) for the summer. It's basically mid-July and it's taken quite a while to get it going, as you can tell. The appt times they had for us is 8:30 in the morning on different days of the week. Basically we got the time that no one else wanted but it's not a horrible time for us. I was fine and all systems were go, all three were up and dressed by 8 and during the ten minutes it takes me to load them and the stuff, (my time is improving, used to take much longer,) I prayed that Ty would have a good time and that he would feel comfortable. He has been to the building a few times for assessments and intake appointments so he was excited to go in.

His therapist came to get him from the waiting room and he cried a little bit on the walk back with her but I could tell it was more of an apprehension because she was a brand new person to him so I knew he'd be fine once they started playing. I saw a friend from my bible study in the waiting room and had a good time catching up with her about her son and her family. There are toys in the waiting room so the girls were entertained and all was going fine. Until.

UNTIL.

The nice lady behind the desk told me it was time to go back to see the therapist for the last five minutes of the appointment.

Um, sure.

I'm on my way with my diaper bag-o-goodies and my two small children, one of whom wishes she was in her crib where she belongs between the hours of 9 and 10. We went down the hall and I talked to Charlie about obeying mommy while we were talking to the therapist. We made our way into the room that, coincidentally, happens to be only a hair bigger than Joy's crib. I plopped down in the floor with Joy in my lap to listen to the therapist. Ty and Charlie started chatting and Joy started putting toys in her mouth. I noticed that each toy Joy touched would find its way into a separate bin and it took all of 30 seconds to figure out that the therapist was separating them so that she could clean them for the next child. I felt horrible.

I felt helpless to avoid what was happening but also horrible. It was physically impossible to set the girls aside to let them play because the room was so small. The toys were all over the floor and Joy was starting to fade because it was her nap time. Imagine your worst out-to-lunch-with-friends-with-your-kids experience and there I was. Minus the food. And the new toys that you buy the happy meal for to entertain your kids so you can eat your lunch.

I kept apologizing and telling the therapist that one of the days from now on won't be like this. I explained Sean's work schedule and that he will likely bring him half the time, (which will probably be all the time since Ty has fully switched over to preferring Sean,) and sitting with Sean and Ty in a room opposed to Me, Charlie, Joy, and Ty will seem a lot more peaceful. She laughed and told me she didn't mind and that almost all parents are bringing in a sibling during the visit. She added that it's rare that the timing can be that bad though and I felt better after that! She recognized that part of the problem was just that it was nap time for Joy and nothing made her happy. She saw the big knot on Charlie's lip and recognized that there was probably a little post-fall drama working. All in all she couldn't have been nicer.

All in all I couldn't have been more frustrated. It was hard.

I pulled in the garage and had Sean on the phone. I was wearing a headset so I started getting out of the car. Did I mention that it was raining all morning? That was a small factor but not a huge deal up until my exit from the car. I had my phone and keys in one hand and my drink in the other. What I do every time I step out of my car. I had flip flops on like almost every other day of the year. But this time when I set my foot down I slipped and fell. I landed on the bottom ridge of the car. Sean heard me and must have thought I broke my leg because I gasped when it knocked the breath out of me and then started crying like one of my kids. I told him I was okay and nothing was broken, (with my back still attached to the car and my spilled drink all over me,) and that I only hit my back and my rear end and that I'd call him back. Then I just sat there and kept crying. The kids all said, "Mommy fell, oh Mommy fell down I sorry," which made me feel better. At least they were sympathetic.

Soon after I had my mommy moment I unloaded the kids and my mom called to check on us and to see how Ty's appointment went and I just blurted out everything that had happened and felt better after that. I called Sean back, got the kids settled, and opened the door for Bonnie and the little boy she babysits since they were coming over for a play date. I've known Bonnie long enough that I didn't want to cancel because she has seen the good bad and the ugly in my house and she's easy to have around. I felt better after rehashing it for her too.

So basically I'm gonna go take a nap and start over. The good news is that I didn't fall onto my phone, (that would've caused me to really cry hard,) and the other good news is that we have a huge bottle of Advil and I don't have to load everybody up to go buy some. I'm bruised but will be fine. This afternoon will be a new "day" and the sun is shining. If I can get my crippled self into my swimsuit I might tackle the spray park.

Or not.

Depends on how good my nap is.

Happy Day, y'all. Hope yours is going smoother than mine.