Happy girl

Ten things I'm loving right now

~Aunt Emmy took Joy yesterday for a slumber party in Dallas. I slept for 10 hours straight without cracking an eye to make sure my girl was asleep/comfortable/dry/etc. Hooray for good sisters!

~My anniversary band from Sundance. If I could pick one website to order every single thing from, it would be this one. Check out their stuff.

~my son has just started saying, "thank you," without prompting.

~my newest In Style magazine that I haven't read yet but am excited about reading soon

~the devotional Streams in the Desert that welcomes me back every time even if I push it to the side of my desk and forget about it every few days. I always feel so much better after reading it.

~three pairs of jeans that I tried on today from my closet fit. Gives me hope things will return to the way they were sooner than I thought.

~Leap Frog letter/word factory videos that entertain my older kids while I shower or cook. Who said TV wasn't educational. Ha!

~that Charlie has her baby by her side at all times now, little fake juice bottle included. And that she actually lines the bottle up to the baby's mouth instead of the eyes like she did the first few hours she had the bottle.

~I finally learned how to make my mother-in-law's lasagna. F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S.

~that I can let Max loose in my car and in 25 seconds it looks totally clean. No loose goldfish, cereal, or fries.

I think I found his purpose in the family.

Following in Momma's footsteps

Yesterday Mimi and I ran to a little store in Denton to look for stuff for the kids. When we found a tutu we couldn't resist...this is Charlie about a minute after I put it on her. You can hear Pops and Ty in the background. Notice her swagger as she leaves. Priceless

Feels like home

We just got home from church and we had a great morning--our pastor comes and goes during the summer so when he is there it's always encouraging, helpful, etc. so that in itself was good. There have been some outstanding preachers already this summer and I love hearing other people but when he's back it feels like home. This was our first time to put Joy in the nursery and I fully expected to be called out and she made it through. We have kind of a bad reputation around the nursery (what is it about church that my kids don't like?!) so I had to gather my courage to go in to drop her off. The other kids did great today and didn't cry until we picked them up from their rooms. (what is it about picking them up that makes them cry?)

I ask you a lot of questions don't I?

Anyway.

I made one of our current favorites for dinner last night so I thought I'd share the recipe. Really, y'all, it's one of the easiest things to make. It's one of Robin Miller's recipes and if you want to try it click here.

Pretty, isn't it? I double the crepe part of the recipe and usually make dessert for the week out of them. I eat dessert all day long...Sean may eat it every other day. Last night I made banana crepes and tonight we'll eat strawberry ones. Just make some whipped cream and you can put pretty much anything in a crepe. Yum.
Miss Charlie took a big hit this weekend and you can see the bruise on her lip. Ouch. She fell onto a rock at the park by our house. She's so tough she cried pretty hard for about 2 minutes and that was it. I'd still be crying with that swollen lip!
Miss Joy is getting in a little groove the last two days. We'll take what we can get! She's close to laughing I think though I forget when they can actually laugh for real. You'd think I have those milestones memorized but you forget so quickly. I've learned a little more about her, what works and what doesn't...and yes sometimes what worked an hour ago doesn't work anymore but that's okay. It's a marathon, not a sprint, right?

Not that I participate in either kind of running. Just so we're clear. Happy Sunday!

Just in case you thought I was super mom

Not that anyone ever thought that I was...except maybe me?

The last two nights Joy has been a crazy girl. Not crazy like cute and it's crazy how much we love her. Crazy like did somebody trade babies when I wasn't looking and give me her younger self before we had her on reflux medicine. I'll give at least part of the blame to a growth spurt but the rest, I just don't know what it is.

You ask, this is your third child, right? This should no longer be a mystery. Things should be running smoothly at this point. I mean, she's just a baby how bad can it be? For the record if any of you ever asked me that last one I'd happily pack her things and send her with you.

Not really.

Only those of you I know in real life.

Imagine this.

Mother of three has a few good days and feels like she's got it all together. I can do this, she thinks. I will survive and so will they. We will all look back on this time and laugh one day, and maybe we'll even laugh a little now. We can do it!

New baby has issues and mother of three gets to her breaking point after a few days of constant whining from not only the baby but the other two kids. Insert extremely helpful family members who selflessly help mother of three for hours on end. Without pay. Feeling the pull of the rest of the world, mother of three leaves her house to run an errand or two while her mother (also a mother of three!) takes care of the kids.

MOT (mother of three, I'm getting sick of typing it,) goes to Costco to return a shirt that she bought on the fly that doesn't fit. She's been needing to return it for about a month so she figures it will suffice as the outing she craves. MOT drives to Costco and puts the car in park to gather her thoughts so she doesn't fall apart once she tastes the freedom of the outdoors. She gathers the shirt in her arms and opens her car door. Then she opens her purse to get the receipt for the shirt. Oops. MOT switched purses last night and didn't put receipt in the new purse.

MOT loses it. Suddenly life revolves around the receipt (or lack therof,) and she cries. All hope is lost. I can't do it anymore she thinks. I'm at the end of my rope. Maybe my mother will just keep them all day and I'll sit here in the car in the Costco parking lot and cry. Yes that'll be nice.

Can't you just see it? Haven't you done the same thing? Or something scarily similar?

Geez I hope so.

If I wasn't a counselor I'd go ask one for help clarifying just what my problem today was. But I know what happened. I am tired and so are the kids. I'm frustrated with Joy's lack of a schedule and realizing it's my fault she isn't on a good one yet. I'm human and a sin-filled mess.

I'm normal.

Since I'm fully qualified to talk myself through my little fit I did so and came home...to happy older children and a sleeping baby. Children thriving without me. Life going on without me. And I couldn't be happier about it.

I'm putting my big girl pants on and having a good afternoon. One filled with a few good friends and their kids keeping us company until my baby daddy comes home from work. He had a three day trip, one day home, then a four day trip that ends today. Our reunion will go something like this:

ME: welcome home honey!

HIM: thanks babe good to be home!

ME: I'm going out--maybe to Costco for a good cry I'll see you later!

HIM: what?

ME: (already out the door) uh huh...i love you!

HIM: what?

ME: in car (already running,) bye!

And he'll handle it. He'll take over and do what the kids need and he'll even play with them and get them all ready for bed and they'll just burst with excitement that he's home. I'll drive maybe around the block before I realize I miss the kids and for sure miss my husband and I'll come home a different person. Refreshed and thankful that this is my life. Weird how it all works, isn't it? Then tomorrow will be a new day.

Thank You, Lord, for new days. For giving me another chance at being a mom without yelling at me for how poorly I do it some days. I couldn't do this without You.

Good times in the bumbo

I think we'll shelve it for a while.

Really? I mean really?

Just a quick update: I survived my first day of all three kids by myself. I know I'll be judged for admitting it took me ten weeks to try it but y'all, I needed that long! Anyway, the head honcho came out this morning and found the leak. Guess what. It's nowhere near the hole that has swallowed my backyard.

Really? I mean really?

I just have to say really quick that America's Got Talent is on right now and Emmy just said, "I'd just cry if Simon said that to me." It broke my heart a little bit to tell her that wasn't Simon. She doesn't watch as much late night (to me 8:00 p.m. is late,) TV as we do. She's never seen American Idol OR America's Got Talent.

Really? I mean really?

Anyway.

The hole that those poor souls dug yesterday is a worthless hole that will cost us no telling what to fix and it'll cost the head honcho even more since those same poor souls have to come back tomorrow and fill it back in. Head honcho and his A team found the leak, capped it and turned our hot water back on! Can you feel me smiling?

Maybe it'll take a week for the actual plumbing repairs but I don't care...we have hot water, the kids are all asleep, and I just finished a strawberry Crystal Light slurpee from 7-11 without interruption.

NOW can you feel me smiling?

Night night.

Big News and Big Holes

Hey y'all guess what! This one has made it three nights in a row on her own! I did perform the pacifier assist, (as did Mom when she helped me) but no feedings and that means she's graduated from baby to big girl in my book. Gonna get her a fancy name tag and tell her to wear it with pride :) Big Girls sleep all night and have very happy mommas.
Nattie and Joy taking in the sights at Cath's house, where we invited ourselves to go for a swim. Cathy is one of Mom's oldest friends and her daughter Maggie is one of my oldest friends. Maggie and I used to play when we were Joy's age. See the bottle in the background? When my Dr. told me to switch to Dr. Brown's bottles I had no idea the difference they'd make. If your baby is gassy from taking in too much air while they eat, (isn't that every baby?) get these bottles. Now I highly recommend them and I wish I'd had them for Ty. Charlie didn't need them--she was so easy and calm all the time. About the milk: I'm still nursing or pumping but I'm having issues. What does one do when one is feeding every 3-4 hours during the day and then the baby doesn't eat from 10-6? I can't believe I'm typing that those are the hours she's going (!!!!!!) but it's kind of an actual problem because there is so much milk in the morning that she can't even eat. Engorged much? Yes much. Men, if you're there, I do apologize for where the conversation is headed. Move on to the end of the post for something manly/vaguely exciting to you.
Ty loves to swim. It's his first question every day..."Ty go to the pool?" And adding his new favorite thing: "Ty go to the pool right now!" He says "right now," all the time. I'm pretty sure it's because I say, "Ty, stop throwing a fit right now or..." fill in the blank. "Ty, stop whining right now or..." Funny how they repeat some things we wish they wouldn't! It's hilarious though, how he uses it.

Do you remember the pictures of Ty in the wheat field? Same field a few months later. Not quite so pretty anymore. I'm glad Sean took the pictures when he did!
Popeye and Joy hanging out. She looks pretty chunky in this picture, doesn't she? She's getting bigger by the minute and I'm loving it. And now we bring you to the not so pretty part of the weekend.

See this? It's supposed to be under my house. Instead, it's beside my house.

And this? This is the hole where it came from.

Yes yes I know you're jealous. Not everyone can have something like this in their backyard.

See how pretty all that hot water is dripping into the big massive hole? The guys came today to start digging and tomorrow the big guns are coming to find the actual leak. Thank God it is near the exterior wall and not in the dead center of the house. I have no idea how long we'll have the hot water turned off but I'm guessing that problem gets a whole lot worse the closer to the center you get. So far so good as far as leaving the floors intact...I'll keep you posted.

Literally.

My version of a vacation

The plumbers came yesterday to share the joy of slab work with us. When they got to our house we had hot water and leaky bricks. When they left we had a hole in the side of the house, no hot water, and a plan to dig trenches on Monday. In true form, I packed up the kids and (reluctantly) Max too and headed to Waxahachie.

I mean it's bad enough facing life without instant hot water but add three hot water-dependent children and you have a recipe for disaster. And many tears. To be fair the guys added a valve so I could turn the hot water on and off for each use. Two problems with this: valve is in the garage and no one trusts me to remember to turn it off. Which makes the leak worse by the minute. I'm sure you agree it's better for the health and well-being of all involved to add to Nattie's hot water consumption until Monday. Sean is flying this weekend so we'll get home just in time for him to unload my car :) love him. A lot. Pray for him as he anticipates many headaches and pain facing what is about to happen to our house. Thankfully they think it's mainly an exterior leak so maybe we don't have to pull up the wood floors. When I say "we," you know I mean I will be inside the house offering drinks and Popsicles to the people actually doing the work.

We have big plans to walk up and down the driveway today and maybe squeeze in a trip to Sonic/Target. Big times. I'm most excited about taking the kids to church on Sunday to the church where I grew up and where mom and dad still go. It's filled with the most fun, gracious, interesting people that I can't wait to catch up with. So many of them prayed for Joy (and all of my family!) so it's a joy to let them love on the kids.

I'll try to take pictures...you know how that goes.

Please pray for Pops (Sean's dad,) today. He has back surgery this morning and we hope the pain he has been in is coming to an end!

I'll be back up and running after the house mess is fixed. Until then, say hello to my girl of ten weeks who is thisclose to sleeping all night. I hope.



Have a great weekend!

The difference between men and women

I took this during church this past Sunday. Sean was sitting beside me holding Joy and she was fighting sleep because of the lights. He kept covering her up until she drifted off. He was really sweet to her. With his mission accomplished he leaned over to tell me something and I braced myself for a sweet comment about our third child. Want to know what he said?

"Luke, I am your father."

Mondays are supposed to be busy right?

Today was non-stop. I took Joy to the doctor this morning for her 8 week (even though she's 9+) appt. She was a champ-very tough and a good girl for Dr. F. I probably should have taken her picture now that I think about it. Oops. She's asleep for the first time since 1:30 this afternoon so I'm not gonna wake her to do that.

You're welcome.

We got great news about little miss. Her head is now perfectly round! Laying her on her other side worked to straighten things out so I'm relieved that we can take the helmet out of the scenario.

She is huge. It's kind of a pattern around here...babies are born big, grow bigger very fast, and before you know it they are wearing each other's clothes. I tell you what-Ty can nearly wear my clothes. Well for sure my shoes.

Joy weighs just shy of 13 pounds, is 24 inches long and has a big head. She weighs enough to increase her Prevacid dosage and obviously no one is worried about her because of her growth. I had questions for the doctor because now that the reflux is under control we've noticed she is extremely gassy and in pain because of it. I've given up anything remotely questionable since I'm nursing (mainly pumping and giving her bottles) and it hasn't helped. I was hoping she would outgrow it but she hasn't yet. My Dr. suggested switching to Dr. Browns bottles and sticking it out. She said four months is the magic age for colicky/reflux babies and you know what: It totally was for Ty.

We remember getting ready for his baby dedication at church the January after he was born (Sept.) and telling him he had to straighten up or God would have words with him and y'all, he was like a different baby after that. I know it wasn't the theologically way-off-base threat but it was perfect timing!

Sitting here even now that doesn't sound like it's that far away but today when she said it I was thinking, "Now what in the sam hill am I going to do to make it until then?"

Anyway.

I got home around noon just as Sean was bringing the big kids in the door from their outing. They "helped" him get his new glasses adjusted. I've got to post a picture of him in his new glasses--so cute! They also went to Costco and the mall to play and to eat lunch. A plumber met us at the front door right as I put Ty to bed because Sean said he kept hearing water in the walls in his office and thought he'd have somebody check it out.

Long story short we have a slab leak. That's just never good. On Thursday they come to find it and then figure out what all has to happen after that. It depends on where the pipe is cracked/broken so at the very least our floors will be ripped up in the office and the bathroom beside it. It could be more than that if we didn't catch the leak early. Good Lord. I didn't even know stuff like this could happen! Road trip to Waxahachie in the near future. Can you imagine the digging/drilling/jackhammering, etc. Is that a word? Yeah probably not.

In the middle of Sean telling me the details about all of this stuff, (which was not unlike Charlie Brown listening to his teacher..."Mwaw mwawh") I realized I had to leave with Charlie for her check-up with her lung doctor. Michelle, you can relate to this. We always plan on two hours at least at this office. It is like the slowest moving group of medical people I've ever seen. They just have a great time at work I guess. The doctor is a fantastic doctor he's just not in a hurry. Sure enough, her appointment was at 4:30 and we walked out the door at 6:20.

Emmy came up at around 4 to take Ty swimming, which worked out perfectly since Sean would have had a time tending to him and Joy during her post-shots meltdown as well as the kitchen sink leak. Oh yeah, we also had a kitchen sink leak. When the plumber was here today he managed to make something come loose under there so tonight when we discovered it Sean fixed it. I wonder what would have happened today if he'd been gone to work!

I'm hitting the hay now just in case it's a long night with Joy. Here's hoping something in those shots makes her sleep like 10 hours.

I'm not holding my breath either.

Step right up step right up

and guess how much...we'll call it stuff...can fit into this purse.

I know, I know. Amazing isn't it. I amaze myself even.

I want you to notice two things: First, a large order of fries came out of the purse where it (just the box I promise,) had been living for at least two days. And second: my all-time favorite lip gloss that you all need to go get. It's Smashbox lip gloss and the color is called 35 mm. If you have to buy the full-sized tube it is expensive but if you find the little ones, (like the one in the picture,) it's no more than a tube of Cover Girl or Revlon. It's the prettiest color! I got it at Sephora.

The purse is my favorite of all time. I admired it in Fossil stores for months before I could afford it, (once it arrived at the outlet,) and have carried it almost every day since. It is HUGE. Obviously.

So if you answered "an awful lot," to the question, you were right. I'm quite the bag lady :)

Happy days are here again

All it takes is a little sleep. If you know Nattie in real life tell her she saves my sanity. If you know Nattie in real life and have a million dollars, cut her a check and on the memo line write, "Mary's sanity." When I can pay you back, I will, with interest.







This is Charlie at about 7 months...still not sitting up by herself...but having a great time wherever I put her. She has a new trick: she waves and says "Hi!" to everyone she encounters. She grins and bats her eyes too. I about wet my pants when she started batting her eyes. I mean WHERE did she learn that?! Ha!






Aunt Emmy needs a check too while you're at it. She kept Ty at her house for his first sleepover. A brave soul she is. And generous. And great fun for a little man. They went swimming, to school (Emmy's, not his--though if you remember he doesn't know there is a difference), and to 7-11(big fun), got fries for meals, watched videos, and slept in a pack-n-play for the first time in months. I'm suprised he still fits in that thing. Emmy said it hits him at his waist! He obeyed her the whole time and slept his usual glorious hours and was not one bit sad to say goodbye to me. When my life-long friend/other mother to me asked me yesterday if it made me sad when he WASN'T sad leaving me, you know what my answer was?

Lord no!

Did you see the part about how much fun he had? Why wouldn't I want him to be that excited! And did you see the part about her keeping him/entertaining him all night? Yeah it was a vacation for all involved!


This is a real classy layout, isn't it? Ty having dinner right there inches from the TV in a mobile highchair so he wouldn't miss his new counting video we bought at Ross for $ 3.99. It's a Baby Genius, (obviously a Baby Einstein competitor,) and while none of the adults can stand watching it he loves it. It's like Disneyland to him. It's really like Disneyland when we let him watch it while eating pizza in a much-too-small-for-him chair. Notice the matress on the floor. Since there are so many babies who sleep at the same time at any given location we have to improvise on where Joy sleeps during the night so she doesn't wake someone else. This is where Mom earned her millions.




April and Steven had their baby! Their 4th child and I don't know how they do it! Her name is Amarissa and she was born on her Daddy's birthday. Aren't they a beautiful family? They are the sweetest family. And they're Aggies. And their kids have great hair.






Baby Joy is learning new tricks too. She smiles a lot and watches TV when she can. Really she does. She doesn't work the remote control yet but she'll crane her neck to see the TV. She's a Wilborn for sure.

I'm heading home tonight. Thanks for providing a place to vent when things aren't so happy. That's why I make time to share life here-it's a huge blessing to be able to hear how YOU got through hard days and what YOU did to survive. You are part of the zoo now. And part of what God is doing in our family.

Happy Friday!

It's a zoo and you're welcome to join

This is the Wilborn side of grandkids. See how into it Ty was? Mimi and Pops (Sean's parents) used this picture for the Christmas card last year.

Yesterday we drove over to Denton to spend the day with them. His dad is having back surgery in a few weeks and has to limit what he does because of his pain so we bring the party to him. Ha! We don't let him lift our kids (I don't have back issues otherwise I wouldn't lift them either,) so since Sean left for work this morning we decided to spend the night too. Yes of course I would really lift my kids what kind of mother do you think I am?

Anyway.

Most of the pictures that you see here are taken with my phone--it is always close if not ON me so it's rare that I bring my camera anywhere. The good pictures that I post are usually taken by Sean (picture above) and sometimes even my mom, aka Nattie.

If I had my camera on this particular trip you could have seen a great visual of our last 24 hours. The problem is that I would likely be the only person who'd find it all interesting to look back at in years to come. It's been a zoo. I'm finding there are a few days scattered in the last few weeks that are NOT zoo-like. Here are some examples:

Joy woke up at 6 for good though I'd have killed for about two more hours of sleep. My normal non-baby wake up time is 7 but I shoot for 8 oclock when I can to make up for the time spent up with the baby. So this morning Sean left at 5 to get to the airport for a 7 oclock flight. He didn't get the jumpseat so he had to take American to Atlanta to get to work and when he's flying another airline he always gets there early to try to get a seat. I never knew he left honestly--so at 6 when Joy woke up to eat (she had eaten at 2...we're not pulling all-nighters yet but I'm praying it'll be soon,) I realized he was gone and said a little prayer that he made it on time for his flight.

I talked to him briefly while I was feeding Joy and got up to start the day. Then Joy spit up so much she had to be changed into the first of 4 outfits for today. I brought her into my in-laws kitchen and started making myself breakfast. Ty wakes up. Turn the stove off so I can make his breakfast. Make his breakfast. Joy has to burp--cries until I burp her. Put her back down in bouncy seat. Ty cries because he thinks I'm forgetting about him because I had the audacity to leave his frozen waffle in the toaster a few extra minutes. Feed Ty. Joy needs to finish eating so I start feeding her. Charlie wakes up. She needs to eat too, and show me her baby, say hi, tell me in her own language about her night. Joy cries because ??? so I wrap her up to put her back to bed. Tears. From Ty, Charlie, and Joy. Almost from me. It's not even 8 oclock folks.

Mimi comes in and offers to hold Joy so I can eat. Oh yeah I haven't eaten yet. I don't take breakfast lightly so I take her up on it. Start cooking my eggs again. Ty poops and needs to be changed. Turn stove off. Change Ty. Take dirty diaper out to trash bin and wash hands. Put my own frozen waffle in toaster. Turn stove back on. Charlie poops and needs to be changed. Turn stove off. Change Charlie. Take dirty diaper out to trash bin and wash hands. My hands have now been washed four times and it's about 8:15 am.

Start cooking eggs again and eat cold frozen (toasted) waffle. Life is good now. More tears from Ty because out of the clear blue he is petrified when the cat comes near him. Never bothered him before. Sometimes he's a mystery. Tears from Joy because she is fighting sleep these days. Consider giving full custody to Sean even though we are still married. I can't take it. Joy settles in and big kids start watching Dora.

Thank God for TV.

I can't even get into what all happened next. I'm exhausted. Hope your day is more calm than mine!

There's grass in my bathtub

Catchy title, huh? I know I sound a little out of it but I actually feel "on" today. Many days feel "off," and that's okay because I don't expect to feel normal this soon after having a baby. Today, though, is a good day. Last night when I took a bath I realized something and I think it changed my life.

Baths provoke deep thought, don't they?

I love baths. Always have. They used to be what I'd do when I didn't have anything else to do. Now they are one of the few things every day where no one else is touching me, needing me, taking my attention. I love them even more after having my kids.

There were pieces of grass in the tub when I stepped in last night and I thought, "Geez even in the tub there are remnants of little people and what they do around here!" I don't know if there were pieces hidden on Ty's body (don't want to know,) or one of the kids had put the pieces in there on purpose. I don't remember ever seeing grass in there before. Yesterday of all days there it was.

Earlier in the day I had sent Charlie home with my mom for a little vacation. The house is strangely quiet without her here, which has been nice. She's needing lots of attention right now and that's to be expected with her age and the fact that she just got dethroned as the baby. It's been wearing on me. I know why she whines most of the time but it doesn't make it more pleasant. I honestly don't know how many times I thought about how different things would be without her yesterday. Not wishing, understand, just wondering.

Back to the bathtub. I'm not a clean freak. Sean wishes I was! I don't care if things are a little dirty but the grass thing was the last straw. The last grass. My breaking point. I sat in my lovely bathtub and started praying.

Lord help me. Really, help me, I asked. I'm up to my neck in parenting and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. They make progress one day and the next day is like groundhog day...starting over from scratch. When will this ever pay off? When will they "get it," whether it's regarding sharing, eating, putting on their own shoes, or asking for help.

And you know what God showed me?

I need to get over it.

Sometimes I tell a story about how hard the day is/was to someone whose kids are a little older and they'll look at me like, "Well, what did you expect?" One friend even says that. "What do you expect when your kids are that little and you're up at night with the baby and you're a little on the selfish side anyway?"Yes she said that. Yes she's a good friend. Yes we're still friends after she said it.

So yeah, I need to get over it. God chose me to be their mother and for some reason, (still unclear,) He gave them to us all at once. And at the same moment I realized that stuff, I realized how many friends of mine are longing to be in my shoes. Or maybe a cuter, more stylish version of my shoes. They are longing for a baby. Or another baby. Or a healthy baby. I have all of those things and have been terribly wrong in my thinking.

So I was thankful. Really thankful. For the first time in a few weeks. Maybe even the most thankful I've been for my kids in a long time.

I wrote all of those words on Friday. It is now Sunday.

Yesterday, (the 4th,) Sean, Ty, Joy and I drove to Waxahachie to see my family and to pick Charlie up. Graham and his family were here so everybody was together and we had a great time. All of the babies took naps, a huge surprise since Ty slept in a different place than he's used to down there--and we all know how great he is with change--and last night everybody slept back in their beds. The whole family at home together.

Last night when I was trying to fall asleep I got frustrated.

Sometimes I do lose sight of things when I'm tired. I wish it wasn't the case and that I could just roll with it, (whatever "it" is on a given day,) but I have had a bad attitude about dealing with the whining/complaining/fits/etc here lately. You've obviously heard it loud and clear. A few days ago, when I first started writing this post I was refreshed and grateful for the kids.

Then last night, even after my realization just a few nights earlier, I took two steps back again. Why is it that even once we notice and name our struggle we still can't overcome it? Why can something so small that one of the kids does send me over the edge? Why does sin rear its ugly head in me SO OFTEN?

So at the risk of sounding blunt and the opposite of fluffy, this is my conclusion.

Motherhood is hard. It is excruciating at times. Mainly when the kids are sick but sometimes the hard times hit clear out of the blue too. It is unpredictable and risky and sometimes it's boring. But like everything else God gave us, it has promises attached. Thank God literally that we have a reason to do what we do. There are more reasons to, what is the phrase, kick the dust off your boots and move on, than there are reasons to quit. How would one quit anyway? Not that I'm looking into it.

grin.

God promises that the work I put in will not be lost, that what I teach them about Him and His word will not come back worthless. He promises that when He gives us a task He will walk right beside us until it is finished. And finish it for us if need be. He promises us that there will never be a moment without Him to lean on. He tells us that we need to feel safe and stop worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Even the vomiting virus is not too much for Him to handle. Even the days recovering from delivery. Even the days mourning a baby that was taken too early. He promises us that this is not all there is. There is much much more to look forward to.

So I'm gonna get over it. There's grass in my bathtub. And I'm gonna learn to like it.

Happy 4th of July!

You mean I CAN'T empty this huge box of rubber bands? Really, why not? Well I kinda already did. Sorry Mom.

Here's hoping your holiday was full of food, fun, and festivities. Be back soon with a post that involves actual thoughts and maybe even something meaningful. Or maybe not you never know around here!

8 Weeks

Baby Joy is 8 weeks old today and she started smiling about a week ago--it took her Momma another week to capture it though! She slept better last night than she has in about two weeks so I feel like a new woman. I told her today I'm so much happier to play with her when she's awake after she's slept for me. I figure honesty is the best policy from the beginning, right?

She is growing at a crazy rate, much like her brother and sister. There's clearly something about me having gestational diabetes that makes them grow really big really fast. It's either that or the fact that I eat about 12 meals a day and feed her almost that many times.

We talked to the surgeon's office today and he said we can wait until she is four months old to do the CT scan on her lung. He said the longer we can give it to resolve on its own, (if it is still there at all which, if you remember, we assume it is NOT) the better. He doesn't trust a sonogram to be 100 % accurate so we're hoping they will do the scan then we'll be done with his office when we see nothing there. What a miracle. What a baby girl. Why God chose us for her parents we don't know but we are excited to see who she becomes.

Thanks for the compliments on the wedding post! Isn't that dress cute--and it was so cheap compared to the other ones I was looking at. It felt springy and fun for a wedding. I'm so glad I didn't buy one that was a lot more expensive since I'm hopefully not going to be this size for much longer. It's a great feeling to start working out and knowing the work I put into how I look can be permanent. Maternity clothes are retired for good. Old clothes aren't fitting yet but we aren't far...

On a totally unrelated note, (as usual I throw something in there,) have you seen the news story about the senator who used the phrase "soul mate," referring to someone other than his wife? I'd love to say if I was married to him I'd find that acceptable but I told Sean today that if something like that ever came out of his mouth I'd shoot him. Like I said, honesty is the best policy.