I'm talking about Him. The designer and King of all that I know. The One who knit me together and knit my kids together. Yesterday it started sinking in that Joy's surgery is one week away. If you've known me for long you know that our baby girl is already a miracle. God brought her here and in many ways has already healed her. Why He knit her together the way He did I don't know. I also don't know why He allowed her to live and why He takes other babies home with Him. I don't get that. I don't get why many many girls I know are trying to have a baby and aren't able to. I don't get a lot of stuff He does but I do get this: He loves.
He loves well and deeply. He loves in small ways and big ways. He loves in ways that bring us to tears and in ways that we never even notice. I don't know the answer to most questions but I know this--He loves because He IS love. That's the first verse I ever learned. 1 John 4:8. "God is love." It's an easy one. There you go, you memorized a verse today.
Yesterday He gave me a new favorite verse and I can't help but share it. It's the most excited I've been about scripture in a long time if I'm being honest. I'm convicted today of lacking in scripture memory and I realize it's time to work on because it really changes my outlook when I work on it. That sounds like such a simple statement. It really changes my outlook.
Sometimes I need to change my outlook. Do you? You don't have to tell me about it I'm just wanting you to think. Enough talking. Here it is.
"But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slacking concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."
2 Peter 3:8-9
One week from now Joy will be in surgery. One week isn't a long time but it seems like time is dragging.
One week. But Lord she's only six months old! She's so little and her lungs can't take it! I'm scared, worried, ready, avoiding, grateful, frustrated, anxious, relieved, and uncertain all at the same time. But my God is stable and He loves me. On days when the fear overpowers everything else, His love overpowers even that.
He loves me. And He loves you too.