Our week so far

Ty became a sheriff.

And then relaxed in Mexico. Just kidding...it's really Double Dip in Frisco. Had y'all worried about the swine flu, didn't I?

Charlie played a little miniature golf.

Ty stole all of the golf balls so she didn't get to play too long. P.S. her pants are supposed to be capris. :)

But she got revenge by stealing his rocks.

My Tough Little Princess

January 2009 at Mimi's house watching her brother sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider. I remember because it was the first time she showed interest in learning the motions. She was 14 months old.

Last Halloween in her cheap costume that I found the week of Halloween once I realized the one I'd bought her wasn't gonna fit. From day one she's been bigger than she was "supposed" to be. She started out at 8 lbs. 11 oz. and she was born three weeks early.

Obviously this picture was taken before she became known as "monkey" for the other various reasons but looking back I must have had a hunch that would be her next nickname. She was happy as she could be during the trick or treating festivities because she got to ride in the wagon, stay outside, and eat skittles all in one evening. For Charlie things don't get much better than that.
Bean spent many a day in the bumbo chair. As long as she could see me she'd stay in there happily for longer than I care to admit now...in this picture she was 5 months old. She has been content to just sit and watch her brother since she arrived and a content baby was a whole new experience for us. I kept thinking that she would outgrow the happy stage. Now that I have known her for 17 months I feel confident saying that if she has been fed and had somewhat of a good nights' sleep, she is happy. It does break her heart when I leave the room sometimes but she instantly "turns her frown upside down" when she sees me again.
One of the very first smiles...one of the few pictures where I think she looks a lot like her brother. She was about 2 months old, soon before she started sleeping through the night. I did work with her, stretching her between feedings but by 12 weeks she was happy to oblige my request for a sleeping baby. When I first told everyone I was pregnant again, when Ty was 6 months old, many many prayers started going up for a quick-to-sleep, content, low-maintenance baby and she quickly became and stayed all three.
Could eat this one up. She looks so much like her Daddy and her cousin Caroline.
We took this picture for her birth announcement and she was just 7 days old. She slept four hours between every feeding for the first two weeks, with only a few hiccups. I did nothing to make that happen!! She also slept with her hands open like this, which people kept telling me meant she was not an intense little baby but a content, peaceful one. Obviously this was during those first few weeks before she started sucking her thumb to go to sleep. She was born at the very end of November so her little Christmas dress was just perfect.
6 months old and residing in the bumbo...no hope of sitting on her own and now that I look back I wonder why I wanted her to? She made it much easier to settle into a 2 kid routine because I didn't have to worry about her getting into things for quite some time.

When I found out I was pregnant with Charlie I was scared to death. Ty had just started sleeping for me--he didn't sleep day or night until 5 1/2 months--and I was still so insecure about what I was doing for him. There were many prayers asking for clarification as far as just what God was thinking...and now that we've got her I know exactly. She is a crazy little combination of her Daddy's looks and my tendencies. She has no regard for cleanliness with the exception of a dirty diaper. She doesn't like hanging around in those. Other than that, a mess always follows her. She finds her brother and begs him to play with her. I remember doing the same thing and just like my brother Ty couldn't care less as long as she doesn't mess up his things. She inevitably does. It's part of her charm! She is our reminder that God knows what we need and what we can handle.

I had a hard pregnancy with her--was extremely nauseous and tired and my diabetes was worse with her than with the other two. When things got a little tense at the end of the pregnancy and my Dr. suggested taking her early, we had to do an amnio to make sure her lungs were ready. It showed that her lungs were fine. We walked into the hospital early in the morning the next day and went through the motions of getting ready.

Ready for another baby? No I wasn't. But then they took her out and there was a moment (felt like a lot longer,) before she cried that instantly I wanted her more than anything. I asked why she wasn't crying and my Dr. kept saying, "Give her a minute...give her a minute..." and then she screamed. Pretty darn loud I must say. As cool as he plays it 99 % of the time I looked at Sean and I could tell he was relieved. And beaming.

A daughter.

And just like the day I had her brother, I became a different person. They warn you that it will be an instant connection and that it will change you. They warn you that there might be trouble learning how to interpret their cries and how to deal with their fussiness. They warn you that it will be the hardest job you've ever had. All are true. I made a deal with God regarding Charlie, (yes I know you're not supposed to do that,) and it was basically that if He would help me through the first few weeks and months with two little kids I'd try my hardest to be the mom He wanted me to be. The part about me needing His help was the crucial part of the deal. And as always, He did. Now it took my entire family helping me too, let's be honest. The village really kicked in once Charlie came along. What a gift she is. A tougher than nails little princess.

My Little Man

Last summer Ty and I made the trip to Destin with the Wilborn women and kids for their annual trip. What a difference it is to go to the beach with a kid vs. when I used to go AS a kid. He was the first one up every morning and the first one to bed every night.
Each morning I'd close the sun room doors and we'd play until it was safe to venture out and make the noise that accompanies a little boy.
I don't remember how old he was here but it is still one of my favorite pictures of him. My parents are huge influences in Ty's life and this was at their house I think soon after Charlie was born. He was walking but didn't have much endurance yet so instead of trekking back to the house to get a stroller they just put him in the wheelbarrow and it worked. In fact, I told myself I'd invest in one for our house because it was so nice to have all of their toys/drinks within their reach!
Oh this brings back lots of memories. This was in our old house in Lewisville and I think he was around 11 months old. Ty didn't walk until 13 months, (back then I thought that was late--this was clearly before Charlie set the new record,) and we'd get so excited when he pulled up on his crib. He loved to sleep at this age already so he was usually pretty happy to be in there. You can't see them in this picture but his crib has little teeth marks in it because when he woke up and was bored or mad he'd chew on the rails. He took the varnish off he did it so much.

5 or 6 months old, and this was his first taste of some kind of baby food. From even earlier than this he showed a strong preference about what he was eating. And he didn't like much. He still doesn't but we're hoping he will start branching out in his old age.

He looks so small in the high chair and I must say that high chair has never been as clean as it is in this picture. Maybe I can work on that this week? His hair had just started really growing at this age...he was born with dark hair and lost it ALL by 4 months. Like he was totally bald and then it started growing in a totally different color. Mom says we were all bald at birth so I expected my baby to be the same and was surprised to see hair when he was born.

We just got back from an ice cream trip with friends and I was thinking about this post and nearly started crying. I watched him play and remember the nights when he was a baby when I thought I wouldn't survive on how little sleep I was getting. I remember how afraid I was to go home from the hospital and then once his Daddy started travelling how afraid I was to be alone with him in the house. I remember how elated I was when he slept his first long stretch and how proud of him I was when he first got excited to get in his crib. Whew was I relieved!

He made me an adult in a lot of ways, though I was 27 when he was born. I am bursting with pride every time he learns something new and it "clicks." I love that he knows and loves all of his grandparents and that he now can remember who goes with who. I remember laying on the operating table and seeing him come over the sheet for the first time and thinking, "What is that stuff all over him?" I had been up most of the night before, cut me some slack. Then I remember Dr. Greebon saying, "You're a momma now." Man was he stating the obvious but man was he right. From that second on few moments go by without me thinking about this little man. He made me a Momma. And life will never be the same.

I had an idea

Since things will get a little crazy in a week and a half and the focus will be on baby Joy I thought it would be a smart idea for me to spend as much time as possible with my kids. Since some of you can't see my kids in real life or meet us somewhere this week I'm gonna introduce you to them here. If you've heard about them more than you can stand already this might be the week for you to take a blog vacation...from my blog.

Sean is home and has big plans around the house. I have big plans to sit and watch whatever he and the kids are doing, and take as many naps as humanly possible while still getting at least 10 hours of sleep every night. It'll be glorious. It'll be the calm before the storm. It'll be me doing exactly what I want to do minus eating cupcakes for every meal.

See you tomorrow for maybe a picture of two and some stories about my little man and the princess.

Update

**Update for the update: Both of my children are still asleep and it's after 8 in the morning...they went to bed at 7 last night...it occurs to me that I have it really good right now and I too can sleep for 12 hours straight at night for the next week and a half. And I plan on it. Why am I in a hurry to get the newborn fog to roll in???!!!! Maybe I can be patient after all.

Not much to update honestly...I was hoping to write from the comfort of a nice hospital bed but I'm home instead! In a really comfy bed if I do say so myself :) I had a non stress test today and the on-call Dr checked my cervix and I'm where I was last week. No changes, no big news. I had to drink the glucose drink to get Joy moving for the test since she slept through the first 30 minutes of it so I was on the table for a little over an hour. An exam table. You think I was uncomfortable??? Little girl danced a jig once the sugar took over and I was cleared.

Sean gets home tomorrow from his last trip before she is born (thank You Lord!) and mom has been here since early Thursday morning to help me. Thank you Nattie. Popeye drove up today and played the violin for bath time entertainment. The kids couldn't care less if I'm even here and I'm not offended.

The last two nights have been late for me, (very normal time for most of you!) so I'm off to bed. Night night. :)

Mary

Because I am proud to weigh almost as much as my husband

This is what happens when you are new to the mirror-picture-taking thing and you try to zoom in to show your belly while avoiding showing how boring your guest bathroom really is.
Zooming out...See how boring my guest bathroom really is? I know, I know. I should do something to it but I don't decorate. See why I complain a lot about walking around, lifting people, living daily life? It's a lot of baby in there.
Possibly the last belly pic of my life...or maybe we'll throw another one in there next week if we get really bored. After May 6th, there will be no more belly pics though...If you are looking for pregnancy drama you'll have to look elsewhere. My doctors all suggested not having more kids after Charlie and well, we didn't get around to doing anything about it. So welcome to the world baby #3! I have c-sections, (which is why it really doesn't matter to me how big she grows as long as I can still walk for the next week and a half,) so I'll have a tubal whatever it's really called. Yes we're tying the tubes. I told y'all a while back my doctor didn't argue when I told him to put it in my chart. His response was, "Alright! I'm writing it down!" It doesn't add to my recovery time and I even asked if it would buy me another day in the hospital.

I love being in the hospital--weird I know--but it's because there are highly trained people taking care of the baby between feedings at night and waiting on you all day and night and no one expects much out of you after surgery. It's like a very expensive, life-changing vacation without exotic food. Or a pool. Or the choice to go outside.

I'm a little bit crazy about this shirt now--I bought it to match the cute (clearance) PJ bottoms I found at Old Navy for the hospital and ended up wearing it happily yesterday. It's not maternity. CAN YOU BELIEVE it fits me? Gonna go get a few more because if it feels this good now I can only imagine how happy it will make me after she is born and I live in PJs for a little while. You can't have a bad day wearing this color. Oh and do you like the necklace I found yesterday at Sam Moon? I haven't ventured into the store in a long time and found two fun summery necklaces for a total of $13. Victory.

At the park with Daddy

But seeing these pictures made Momma wish she had been there too.

Big girl

I'm still in the parking lot at the hospital after my sonogram and just had to share what I just learned--Y'all, brace yourselves.

She weighs 7 lb 12 oz.

I'm only 36 weeks! Biggest baby ever making her debut in two weeks...get those boys from the guiness book of world records ready. The tumor is smaller than it was in proportion...probably because she has grown so much in a week. All things are stable!

Being Still

I'm being as still as possible while trying to maintain a household. Oh who am I kidding. Last night when Sean got home he cleaned up the house while I sat on the couch and caught up on the weekend's events that we hadn't covered over the phone. I love my husband. He likes a clean house but happily does it himself if I don't have it in me. Which is all the time.

Part of me wants to run around the block to speed up the labor process and part of me wants to be a slug. Obviously the latter part is winning, not surprising anyone in close proximity. On a good note, thanks to my laziness lately, a few fun things have happened for the kids.

Ty ate/finished his first popsicle. I've tried to get him to eat them for a long time but I finally got him good and bored enough in the backyard to try one and he is now set for life. I go through Sugar Free popsicles like crazy when I'm first pregnant and I hate the orange ones that come in my favorite variety pack so we have about 65 in our freezer. Good thing he likes the orange flavor!

After a babysitting issue on Friday morning my mom came up to sit in the car with the kids during my Dr. appointment. Anytime you combine the car, Nattie, and Sonic fries there's much fun to be had.

Aunt Emmy came up to spend the night Friday with us and was a great cruise director. Ty enjoyed holding her captive for a little while Saturday morning before his sister got up to compete for her attention.

Sarah came to play yesterday afternoon, (the same Sarah that helped pull the wool over my eyes for my Birthday surprise,) and apparently her energy level was so high that when I got home they both just kind of looked over their shoulders at me like, "Hey, good to see you...HAVE YOU MET SARAH? SHE IS SUPER FUN!"

Daddy is taking them to the park today--their first outside outing since Tuesday. Mommy just doesn't have it in her to take them both to the park anymore, (and it rained here most of the weekend and I sure don't have it in me to take them places in the rain anymore.) Plus Daddy packs really good snacks for them at the park so I'm sure they won't miss me at all.

I have a sonogram in the morning and I'm curious to see if there are any changes...last week Patsy told me she didn't think the tumor was as big as her lung anymore, (but it was the first time she's seen me since the 20 week one AND it's a totally different kind of machine than the specialist uses,) so when I go to Dr. Brown-Elliot tomorrow there's a chance things will be looking much better. At the very least we will get measurements and maybe an earlier delivery date if she's already measuring 10 pounds. If she is that big already maybe I can talk my doctor into taking her before his trip??? Yeah I doubt it too.

On a totally different but funny note, I got a jury summons yesterday and my date that I'm supposed to report is May 12th, which means Joy will be 6 days old and I'll still be taking an average of 2 pain pills every 6 hours. Would I be a great candidate or what?! Thankfully there is a legitimate exemption for me so don't worry if you're headed to court that day in Denton county...I won't be making any decisions unless you count, "Do I change her before or after I feed this time?"

Monkey

In the early weeks of Charlie's life, I called her "stinky" because she pooped about 20 times a day. I know that's "normal," but Ty didn't do that and it threw us all off a little bit because literally every time she was awake she was going potty. So that was her first nickname and Sean kept begging me to change it.

After a few months she stopped doing it and became "Bean." I don't know why but I do still think of her as that often. Little jelly bean maybe? She was kinda shaped like one for a long time?? Anyway, "Bean" will always apply but now I have a new nickname for her and this is why.

See the picture? How she's crawling on the back of her hands? She does this anytime she has a toy in her hand/hands that she doesn't want to give up. Which is a lot of the time because in her world if you give it up your brother will probably take it. Who said she wasn't smart just because she didn't feed herself or drink out of a cup or crawl or walk or do anything until she was well over a year old?

She figured out the important stuff like holding onto toys early on. So everywhere she goes, inside, outside, (even on concrete,) you just might find her crawling on the back of her hands.

So meet "Monkey." She is now walking everywhere, feeding herself, drinking more than her brother which is A LOT--all out of a cup--and she only crawls to get to something to pull up on...but inevitably she has at least one hand folded over like a monkey with something in it. She has scabs on her hand right now because she will cross any terrain like this and never fusses about it.

Last night she had stolen some of Ty's alphabet puzzle letters and took off up the stairs on the backs of her hands. I need to record it and post a video for you. Now if I could just figure out how to do that...

Hand Me Down Heaven

Last night I dreamed that when I went to the doctor today she told me we needed to deliver Joy ASAP in the office. Like I mentioned last week in the post about dreams, mine don't often add up. Last night's was the perfect example. The doctor I go to today is the endocrinologist, who has an opinion about my delivery date but nowhere near the decision-making power that my other doctors have so the likelihood this will happen is slim. Well that and she can't deliver a baby because her office isn't exactly equipped with whatever all that stuff is they need to deliver babies. 

Anyway, in my dream Sean was halfway between Florida and the Bahamas when I tried to call him and since he's...ahem...big on saving $$ on phone calls, he never turns his phone on when he lands somewhere that charges extra so it would be 4-5 hours before I could talk to him to tell him--"Surprise! It's a girl. Oh and she's here." 

I woke up full of anxiety. What if this actually happens????? Reminds me to tell him that I'll pay for the extra phone calls from now on but he needs to KEEP HIS PHONE ON AT ALL TIMES EVEN IF THE FAA IS IN THE COCKPIT AND NO I DON'T CARE IF THAT MEANS YOU GET FIRED. 

Now that that's settled, look at these cute hand-me-downs from my sister-in-law for baby Joy. I hope she'll be able to wear them for about 6 months at least...

Oh I can't wait to see her--after the sonogram I have it in my head that she looks like Ty, (hopefully a smaller, girl version,) so if she doesn't I'll be surprised and even more excited to figure out who she looks like. This little one has been such a blessing already that I am praying the sleeplessness and hormonal mayhem can be balanced by what all she has changed in me for the better. Obviously God did all the changing but to think that He chose her to be the catalyst well, it just makes me grateful to be her Momma. 

There Are No Words

What does one say about this hair?
See, there are no words.

The Week In Pictures...and Some Words

Another Northpark trip--this time it was to hand Charlie off to Mom for the night. Notice which child is into the surroundings and which one is just scouting out where the snacks are.
I have a feeling this will be my favorite picture of her for a while. This is the swimsuit that is a 4T. Told you it wasn't too big. This was the only picture I took at the party I told you about on Friday. You know during the 17 minute window of happiness.
Hunting "Eygs" with Pops, (Sean's dad,) which to Ty means running from egg to egg saying, "There it is!" He had no idea part of the fun was opening the eggs to see what was inside.
But once I opened a package of Skittles he settled right in for the long haul. Skittles can stain, I don't know if I'm the only one who didn't know that. The red and orange ones just might not come out of the Easter shirt your child has on. To be safe it's always good to strip the kid down. That's our philosophy.
This is the Wilborn side of cousins...all of them except Charlie who had enough fun and was in the middle of her 4 hour nap during the hunt. I'm not complaining--did you see the part about her sleeping for 4 hours? Not the norm for our kids. The cousins range in age from 10 months to 16 years old. I've mentioned this before but there are 11 now and Joy will make 12.

My parents came up on Sunday for Easter and I took about 45 pictures, and none of them turned out. No flash, flash, it didn't matter--good thing I have a ton of pictures of the kids with my family! Mom hunted eggs with Ty all over the house since it was raining/muddy outside. They brought food to us and I didn't cook a thing all weekend. The perk of pregnancy. Last year for Thanksgiving everybody came to my house and I didn't cook a thing.

Speaking of pregnancy, I went in yesterday for my first sonogram with the woman at my OB's office--the last time I saw her was during the 20 weeks sono when we found out about about the cysts and it was great to see her (Patsy is her name,) and report that things are looking great. She gave us free 3D sono pictures and I'm happy to say that it looks like Joy looks JUST LIKE TY. We'll see if that's the case when she comes out...

And speaking of that, without oversharing, my body is starting the process and I'm dilating more than I ever have ahead of time. Hmmmm...this could mean nothing. Could mean everything. My OB will be out of town from April 22-May 5th (the NERVE) so I told him yesterday I'd like to have her before that. He said no and I wasn't surprised. Ours is a patient/doctor relationship where I self-diagnose, create a treatment plan, and he shoots me down. It works for us.

How Deep the Father's Love for us

---

How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure

That he should give his only son, to make a wretch his treasure

How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turned his face away
As wounds which mar the chosen one, bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon his shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held him there until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life; I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything: no gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ; his death and resurrection
Why should I gain from his reward? I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart: his wounds have paid my ransom
© 1995 Kingsway's Thankyou Music
CCLI #1596342Album: I Could Sing of Your Love Forever 2

I wonder if I'll ever fully grasp what He did for me but the closest I can come is to imagine giving up one of my kids for someone else's sake. Even one of my other kids. How great the pain of searing loss...I would never have it in me. This year more than ever I can wrap my mind around losing a child. I can imagine the depth of pain. I can feel the hurt that other people have experienced.

So today as we listened to what was taught I kept thinking, "You are my Father and You've given me a wonderful father here, AND You've given me a wonderful father for my children. How could I possibly deserve what You did for me?"

And I can't. I won't. I'll just mess it up more and more over time I figure. He loves us so much that He won't go away though. Just like we won't go away from our kids, but multiplied by about 10,000 because He is God and can love more than we could ever understand. He loved us--He loved you--enough to put His child up on a cross and let Him bear weight that He didn't deserve. That his own actions didn't merit. That His heart could barely stand.

Knowing that all of His children could live forever with Him as a result. What a beautiful picture of hope for us to cling to.

Them Drowning was The Least of My Worries

I'm not sure I even have energy left to describe what happened today. I'll try for entertainments' sake. There was a swim party for my twin nephews. The boys that I met when they were Ty's age and now they are the cool older cousins...the ones whose clothes have graced Ty's closet since birth.

Mom and Dad kept Charlie overnight to give me a break from all the heavy lifting (it worked-my back felt almost normal today and it's been far from it for weeks,) so today they brought her home and helped me a ton with the kids. Emmy came too so I sat on the couch for most of the day. Our original plan was for them to keep Ty during the party so I'd just have Charlie--the non-swimmer-but as the day went on I decided I was up for a challenge and took both kids. First mistake. I made many more between the hours of 4 and 7.

Before I go on I have to tell you that I bought Charlie a swimsuit a few days ago for the party (and the summer,) and it is a 4T. AND NOT ONE BIT TOO BIG.

Oh y'all. It was bad. Not the suit, the party. And not the party, my kids. It was right by my old house, which thanks to a new tollway is only about 15 minutes away. As I drove in I saw Sean's sister Stephanie and her family and I rolled down the window to say hi and they offered to help me in. My niece Allie got in the front seat and both kids started crying. They didn't stop until we were well inside the building. Charlie kept going all the way into the room where the food was and Ty stopped when he saw the pool. The one Momma wasn't going to get in since she was not up for the maternity suit that is three years old and in need of someone smaller wearing it.

I really don't think I can give a play by play--I am so tired. Over the next hour and a half there was about a 17 minute window of happiness. Then Ty got a weird rash all over his back and arms and I had to take him away from the fountains he'd been playing in. And that's when it all broke loose. At one point I looked at my sister-in-law Amy (mom of the boys,) and said, "I just hope somebody is getting a picture of this to show how GOOD things were before the new baby came." She laughed and waved bye. People who don't know us had to be wondering what kind of nut would do this one more time. Clearly the lady has no idea how to calm her kids down. Clearly she should have just stayed home. Clearly she is in no shape to be lifting one of them let alone both at the same time. It's easy to forget we're talking about me here.

The rash was quick--came on quick and went away by the time we got home. I gave him Benadryl but still have no idea what it was. Allergic to chlorine maybe? He was in pools all summer last year though and we never had this happen. Who knows.

I am all done. For today. Maybe with all swim parties for the next few years. Definitely done taking them places without their Daddy there to share in the humiliation.

Dreams

What do you think about when you read that word? Does anybody else think of the song by The Cranberries? Or "You've Got Mail?"

Do you have weird dreams that you can remember? For as long as I can remember I have and can remember most of them. It's not unusual for my first words of the day to Sean or whoever I'm around to be, "You're not gonna believe what I dreamed about..." Sean has learned to direct his attention to me at that point because whether he likes it or not I'm going to tell him. God love him.

I can't watch anything scary because inevitably I'll dream about it later and in my dream I'm never on the winning side, conquering evil. I'm being eaten up by it.

So last night I had a dream that Sean and I were part of the Yearning for Zion ranch community.

Back story? I thought so.

Yesterday I watched the Oprah episode from a few weeks ago (don't you love the DVR) where she interviewed members of the group. Hearing the women talk about sharing the same husband must have stuck with me because in my dream Sean had gone that route and I had "had enough," and was on the verge of leaving. Apparently I was still in love with him, as the girls insisted they were in the interview--not Sean--their shared husband, (I realize it's hard to keep up,) and so in the dream I was supposed to be getting used to his new wife. We were all in the same house and for some reason our real children were not part of the dream??? It was just us and the new girl. And she was super nice to me in front of Sean but mean as could be as soon as he left the room. I remember crying in the shower one night because I knew he was happy with her and wanted him to be truly happy but felt like I couldn't stand living there any longer. Why was I still living there you ask? Because this was a dream. Things don't have to add up.

Like that time I was flying on a magic carpet in the snow and when I landed it turned into skis. Or there was the time I was being chased by a pom pom and it could bite. A pom pom with sharp teeth. It was a blue and white one, which were not my school colors. One time I dreamed that I tried out for American Idol and I couldn't sing. Oh wait that was real life. Not that I tried out but I really can't sing so that dream didn't seem so foreign.

Anyway the YFZ dream. Never thought I'd find myself in those circumstances even if only in a dream.

When I woke up my first thought was, "What the heck?" My next one was, "Thank God by the end Sean had figured it out and left the place with me." I'm being honest, this was the order. Then it was, "Lord show us Your glory and bring the light of Your Truth to people who need You." I don't know how many times I've thought about it since.

Some dreams are so weird I know there is no value to them at all and then others make you think. I never studied dreams though I had people ask me weekly what their dreams meant when I was working. "I don't know," was never an answer I was afraid to give. I also replied with, "That is weird," which you'd think a counselor would never ever say!

Dreams. They can be weird, funny, way "out there"...giddy up. Let's hear it. What have YOU dreamed about?

"Go Park, Go Park"

That's all Ty is saying these days...especially after visiting this one.
He didn't stay in one place very long but adding the snack helped me keep him still enough to get proof that he was there.
This one was happy in the tunnel the whole time...trying to stand up, bumping her head on the top and then falling down laughing. She's loving her new freedom. And I'm loving her hair.
I pulled my rubber band out of my hair to give it to her so if you could have seen my hair hers would pale in comparison. Her Daddy forgot to put her clip in when he got her up from her nap so she looked like a hard-core rocker until I intervened. I know it's not very cute but it served the purpose of keeping it out of her eyes. Actually I thought it looked pretty darn cute. It shot a good three inches off her head.

Bring the Rain

Today there is much more happiness in the air. Yesterday afternoon, (after I posted,) my Dr. office called with a delivery date that is a week earlier than what he told me yesterday. Sean and I talked for a long time last night about how we're "really" doing emotionally as we get closer to her birth. Over time it gets easier to read each other, which is true for any couple, but we're still trying to do better at asking for help/support when we need it instead of acting stronger than we are. We both do it--bad combination! Thankfully there were some moments between putting the kids to bed and putting myself to bed that gave us both sweet comfort. Thank You, Lord.

Today when I clicked on Angie Smith's blog (Bring the Rain) it hit me that today is the anniversary of her daughter's birth. It is also the anniversary of her daughter's death. Angie's blog is always very honest--she has ups and downs and shares them all. I had been following her blog for about 5 months when I had my sonogram to find out about our baby. The story of Audrey Caroline, Angie's daughter, was in many ways completely different from ours. In a few ways, though, it was similar. The night after finding out Joy's diagnosis I e-mailed Angie to tell her what her blog and testimony had done to encourage me even in those 24 hours and that I felt like she needed encouragement that very day. She is a mom. She is a believer. And she went in for her gender-check sonogram with her intuition telling her something wasn't right--all very familiar for me. I told her we weren't sure if the baby would survive, (because for that entire weekend we didn't know and were told we would have to 'wait and see,') and she replied that she was praying for us and asking God to perform a miracle. If you've read Joy's story here you know that He, in fact, did. We have faith that our daughter will survive.

Read her story if you haven't. Today of all days please say a prayer for her and her family.

Joy Update

It's been a weird day. Not a bad day just one of those days where you feel like you're watching your life and not really 100 % participating in it. I had two appointments this morning and the overall update is good news. Joy is estimated to weigh right at 6 lbs. now. The pleural effusion (fluid around her lung,) looks smaller than two weeks ago and the tumor is still stable. At my OB appointment I found out that I will start twice weekly appointments next week, which I anticipated. I'll have a sonogram one of the visits and the other one will be for a non-stress test. I did this routine with both other kids because of gestational diabetes. It makes for a long couple of weeks leading up to delivery but it's part of the treatment so obviously you can't really say, "Um, that doesn't work for me." Babysitters get your calendars ready-I'm gonna need you soon.

My Dr. suggested that we schedule my c-section and when he said 39 weeks I about fell off the table. Hear me on this--Joy is stable and that is what is most important! I think I was shocked when he said I might go that long so I didn't really hear what else he was saying. I've never made it 39 weeks. Even with Ty I was induced at 38 so I'm not sure what my Dr. was thinking. I've heard women say that they experience a mental defeat when they pass their due date so maybe I'm feeling a fraction of that??I reminded him of the past deliveries and he responded with, "Well let's watch the baby and see..." I know he does this every day and that he knows best but I've thought for so long that it would be earlier that it put me in kind of a rut. Maybe fog is a better word. Yeah it's a fog. By tomorrow I should be used to the idea of five more weeks of pregnancy. (gasp!)

Carley's Shower

**More pictures coming soon of yesterday's diaper/wipes shower. It was GREAT! Fun games, good food, catching up with the students, and me winning the "Who can diaper the baby the fastest blindfolded" contest. Did I say that out loud? Two Dr. appointments this morning--I'm anxious to hear how Joy's doing. I'll update as soon as I can!**

Following tradition, we held Carley's baby shower at the "Hostess with the Mostess" Ellaine's house yesterday and it was a great shower. Ellaine was the biggest supporter of Sean making a move many years ago...I remember sitting in the back of the youth room and her asking, "Why don't you and Sean date?" Each of us would give our reasons and she'd say, "Well that's stupid, that's not a good enough reason..." Now, after knowing her for 5 + years I can honestly say she's said those exact words to me many times about many different things! She's good as gold and can do things like this with flowers.

See why she's the hostess? Yeah I don't know where you even buy things like this much less put it together.
All of the hostesses: Mom (Nattie,) April, Priscilla, Carley (guest of honor), Ellaine, woman in need of bigger shirt, Jamie, and Jennie. Mom helped host this shower because Carley has hosted two of my showers in the last three years and done so many other things to help me since I've known her. Mom and Dad came Friday afternoon and Sean and I had a date then they stayed through yesterday afternoon--We distracted Ty while they were leaving to avoid a genuine heartbreak on his part and after about 20 minutes he walked circles around the house and came to me and said, "Nattie, Popeye?" We told him they had gone bye bye and he started crying. If it were up to him, (or all of us for that matter,) they'd live next door.
This is what a pile of gifts at a Texas little boy baby shower looks like. Those of you who don't live in Texas might find the deer a little strange but I think it fits right in.
The guest of honor opening one of her gifts--The bib in her lap says, "Cute but messy, just like Daddy!" So cute. Wouldn't be true in my family...we'd need one that says, "Cute but messy, just like MOMMY." Daddy is always clean in my family!
Did I mention before that I live for dessert? When they asked who would cut/serve the cake--always made by Ellaine's friend and always delicious--I quickly volunteered. And I might have cut my own rather large piece in the process and asked someone to hide it for me.
See why? It was a lemon sponge cake for this party, with fresh berries for topping. Oh my. To add danger and excitement to my life I didn't even check my blood sugar after the shower--don't tell my doctor(s).
This is what the same table looked like a few hours later...with more gifts on the floor around it. Carley got some great gifts! Mom and I studied it for a little while to see if there's new stuff on the market I'm gonna need. Carley is my friend--she wouldn't care that it looked like we were looting.
The pregnancy brigade--When Carley found out she was pregnant she told me that she had always prayed for a friend to be pregnant with. I'm not sure why God chose me for the answer to that prayer (Ha!) but He also chose Jennie and April to join the fun and I am so excited for all three of these friends who are going to be, (Jennie and April already are,) fantastic mommas! Jennie is Momma to David and April is Momma to Grace, Caleb, and Jonathan. Yes, that means 4 children for her soon. Good Lord April. She can handle it :)

I'm off to get ready for church--did I tell you that we got clearance to take Charlie back? She had a check up at the pulminologist last week and he said we do need to keep giving her two breathing treatments a day through mid-May but that since she hasn't gotten sick again we can take her more places...so last week we all loaded up and got to go to church together. Charlie had a semi-rough morning but we're going for it again today. The more she goes the less upset she gets, and watching Ty just waltz into his room now without a tear motivates us to keep at it for Charlie. One day maybe there will be NO tears at church! Except mine of course.

That's My King!

Baby Happenings

Here is baby Charlie just a few hours after birth--those of you who thought this was Joy I apologize. That was a mean trick. Babies are on the brain for a number of reasons: My unborn one is moving so much it's literally making me seasick at night. I'll live. The other reasons are because tomorrow we're having a shower for Carley, who you've heard all about. The next day (Sunday,) our church youth department is throwing us a joint diaper/wipes shower. Can I get an Amen. I hope I'll have tons of pictures to share of both showers. Bonus: Nattie and Popeye are spending part of the weekend with us. Another Amen. Enjoy your weekend!

Look What the Easter Bunny Brought Me

Two baskets full of children and lots of "Eygs," as Ty calls them. This was at Nattie's house last weekend.
Yay Easter! We are excited to see who gets the whole egg hunting process...should be interesting.

A few of you have e-mailed me asking what the latest is on Joy and the answer is I don't know! I didn't have to go to the doctor this week (a welcomed break,) and I will not go until next Monday. I felt really good about getting a two week break between appointments.

I set up a permanent update spot on the top right corner over there so any news will be there from now on. It's hard to believe we've made it this far and now there's a lull in activity. Again, a welcomed one! Sean built some extra shelves in the girls' closet yesterday and we've pulled out the little gowns and blankets. Wow was that a rush. I didn't do a whole lot early on because we didn't know if she would be okay. Pulling things out reminded me of Charlie's first few weeks and it felt surreal to look at the clothes thinking about another baby wearing them. There was some time thanking God for what He has already done and a little asking Him to answer our prayers to bring her safely here. From the beginning she really has been in His hands.

Switching topics, we went to Denton today and this was my first attempt at joining BSF--the intro class for this Fall was today. My hang-up has been that I've heard there is a ton of homework and let's be honest is this the time to start doing something hard? :) Just about the time I asked how much the time commitment was I found out the woman sitting beside me was 88 years old. After hearing about her daily struggle to live and function I decided to buck up and go for it. If she can do it I figure I can too. The main reason I came to this conclusion just might be that it's still months away.

Thanks for the advice about my hair! Still deciding...