And Then The Cleaners Lost My Coat

Woke up this morning to a house full of my little family members...remembered my original nuclear family was gone and then glanced around at the deterioration of Christmas boxes. If you needed me between the hours of midnight and 4 a.m. I would have been shuttling meds, bottles, and negative thoughts between bed and Charlie's room. Little bean was not having the sleep last night, and while I immediately thought it was an illness of some kind, (always,) she seems totally fine today. Hmmm...at one point I was half asleep in the rocking chair holding her and she jerked her head back--I braced myself for vomit--and she smiled at me and laughed. That was the last time she saw me. I knew then that she had likely figured out how loud she had to get to make me come to her room to play. Sean got them up and took care of them until I rolled out of bed mumbling, "I'll take whatever Ty dishes out today but I need a break from HER."

Yesterday after an outing Sean told me that when he went to the dry cleaners to pick up my coat they didn't have it. Like they didn't know where it was or if in fact they had ever had it. See, the dry cleaners I USED TO GO TO before yesterday doesn't give you a receipt when you drop things off. Yeah that's good business. Pretty much what it would be like if I owned a business. You would never know what you were gonna get...or not get in this case. In between visits to Charlie's room I planned my speech and decided to go down there today. When I walked in and asked to pick up my coat they said it was not there and I got through a little bit of my speech, brilliant after much mulling over during the night I'm sure, the manager sent three people to the back to look for it. Long boring story short it showed up. They had it under the wrong name, which has happened maybe 4 times since I started going there. Long boring story longer I told them there was no need to correct my name in the system. DELETE would do just fine.

We had a great relaxing Christmas. I love that my family is flexible and will join the "sleep is king" case for my kids. Gonna write thank you notes later today and man is Ty loving his new toys. There is a stack of thank-you's...

Ty is now up. Charlie is now going down again. After the 80 degree weather we've had the last few days a nice cold front moved in earlier and it's time to go enjoy it. 

Merry Christmas!

Just thought I'd wish you a Merry Christmas and remind myself how far we've come in a year. Oh how God has blessed us this year! We are cozy in my house and Aunt Emmy got up with master Ty since he woke up early this morning...Nattie, Popeye, and Sean are all still sleeping and Charlie just blessed us with herself and her morning hair. Gonna be a great day. Merry Merry Christmas to all! 

Wanna Hear a Secret?

I'm sure you do. Don't we all? It's not as exciting as you might be thinking but if you're reading this you probably don't have much else to do right now. I've been thinking about my appt. in a little over a week where we will learn about baby. Of course we are grateful for its little life thus far but we hope that God will bring it to us in about four more months and that it can grow and learn under our care. There have been so many stories in people's lives around me and through this computer world whose babies have struggled and we've committed to fight fear with Truth and try to avoid worrying until we go to the appt. Ready for the secret?

That's harder for me right now than it's ever been in my life. I've kept it to myself for some time until recently I told Sean about it. Why didn't I mention it before? I don't want to seem fearful. I know what that sounds like..."Mary, you live with the man. He knows you're fearful. Shoot, I don't live with you and I know THAT." Yes but about spiritual things I've tried to act, well...spiritual. Shame on me for letting satan get some good control over me without letting another person in on it so they can pray against what he's been doing. I've worried about this baby's life for months now. I never feared for my other two kids. I never believed that something would happen to take them from us (until after they were born, let's be honest!) I never considered that God might use us to raise a child with needs that might seem defeating or overwhelming. And now, walking into this time in a few days where we will see its body for the first time since it was a teddy graham (what my sonographer calls them in the early days,) I am asking God to remind me of the many promises He has already given me. Living in His presence means that no matter what is learned in our daily lives and circumstances we know we are not alone and that He is in complete control. If I am living in His shadow then nothing will be impossible for me. Nothing will crush me beyond what He can put back together. Nothing will surprise Him so even when things surprise me, there are mighty big steps already taken ahead of me. I'm going to try to remember this every day. What a difference believing this would make in the way I react to my kids and my family! What a blessing it would be to them if I consciously try to avoid being negative and afraid! 

The appt. is Jan. 2nd. Sean will be here so he will go with me. That reminds me to ask someone to watch my kids--hadn't remembered to do that yet :) We are curious and excited to find out if it's a boy or girl. We are excited to see what it looks like, if it resembles one of the other kids...if Patsy will show us a 3D/4D picture like she usually does even though we don't pay for the extra package...excited to report to my doctor that my blood sugar isn't high yet and they thought it would be by now, the list goes on. 

Today, this is my prayer.

Lord, I have once again forgotten to apply what I know to what I'm feeling. I have been taught how to fight fear and worry and yet have let both make my decisions lately. Since You have consistently been true to who You are, I know that I am safe, my children are Yours, my marriage and my family--we are all in Your care. What in the world am I fearing? That You will turn away? That You will make a mistake? That You are stepping down from the throne to take a sick day? Forgive me for being so small and trying to act so big. Thank You for training Sean in so many ways to lovingly and gently teach me when I am struggling. Thank You for the people in my life who have been given hard news and live lives far more in tune with You than I am in my life. Thank You for answering their prayers to help them, sustain them, and bless them in their situations. If ever there was a time to praise You, it is now. Amen.

Not What It Looks Like

I know it appears that I got hungry enough to polish off the mac n cheese that was in this tupperware bowl. Y'all know how I love talking about food and I love eating it even more. This time, it wasn't me.
It was not Ty, Charlie, or Sean either. You know who that leaves. 

I've threatened lately that I'm going to send Max in a cab to live with someone else...he doesn't even warrant a car ride sometimes. I'm working on my anger issues. ALL of them are triggered by the beast himself. Wanna know the only funny part of this? If you think this in itself was funny don't tell me when you see me--anyway the funny part is that the dog managed to get his paws onto the counter and eat 1/2 the box of prepared macaroni without knocking the bowl off the counter. He had to have worked hard to balance his big self up there long enough to polish off Ty's lunch. 

Picture Tag...

And I'm it. Thanks Emily!  I think this is right--You go to your computer, pick the 4th picture folder you have then pick the 4th picture and without editing/picking a cuter one, you post it and explain what was happening in the picture.

Seriously, could I have PICKED a cuter one if I had tried? I love this picture for tons of reasons. First, it is in front of my parents' house. The house where I grew up and still frequent when Sean is on trips, especially when there's a sick baby involved. This computer is a little over a year old so this picture is from the month or so after Charlie was born. We were at Nattie and Popeye's A LOT during those early weeks. Mom is a baby whisperer and Dad is just a Ty whisperer--he plays the violin for Ty and it sends Ty into this magical happy place that he inevitably comes right out of once we bring him back home. I'm kidding. Kind of.

Ty was 15 months old, and since he didn't walk until 13 months, he couldn't make it everywhere yet without a little help from a stroller...or if you don't have a stroller because in your newborn fog you forgot yours...a wheelbarrow. Works just as well and you can throw their favorite toys in there with them so they don't get bored. Can't you picture me walking around the snazzy malls around here pushing my kids in this? I'd probably make it onto a few blogs. If it had a cup holder I'd really consider it.

And so, part of the fun is getting to tag a few people myself. Giddy up.

Crissy

Brooke

Mama Em (aka Emily) or is it the other way around?

Stephanie

Super Kakie

Casey

Heather

Jamie

Were there only supposed to be 4? Oops. I never play by the rules.

Lord Have Mercy Mary Wants Those Blue Jeans On

I want these. I'm pretty sure my legs would look like hers in them so I'm gonna continue to watch them go down in price. The chances of them making it into my maternity wear price range are slim but I've never been one to give up on a sale item. I'm trying not to spend much $$ on maternity clothes since this will be the last time I'll wear them. Have I mentioned that my OB offered to tie my tubes during my first preg. visit this time? Like I didn't ask him or say anything about it and he pretty much wrote it into my file. Before you judge him, he actually has a reason for this.

Well, two reasons. The more trivial one is that I'm a high-maintenance patient. A frequent flier if you will. My file is the second thickest one of his patients and he's told me the other lady is on like her 7th kid. His words were, "You're the thickest file with only two children by a long shot!" I think he secretly thinks I'm amusing but he treats me like a daughter when I ask him to bend his rules. When I was about 6 months pregnant with Ty, I asked him to do an elective c-section because labor and delivery completely freaked me out. He said "Women have done this all by themselves for centuries. No." Then at the end during my weekly (in my case twice-weekly) visits I asked him for a numbing agent because things were highly uncomfortable during the process of figuring out if I was dilated. "No." Hmmm. One day he told me that whether I wanted it or not he was going to make me get an epidural because he knew I couldn't handle the pain of labor. Then the day before my scheduled induction my blood pressure was up in his office so they admitted me to monitor it and as hard as I tried to keep it up (anyone figure out how to do that?!) it went down to a safe level. I'm kidding about wanting to know the trick but at the time I was serious. He came in and I begged him to "get this thing done." He just shakes his head at me. God love him.

And that was just with Ty. With Charlie I knew I'd have a c-section because of the predicted size of the baby AND the pregnancies were too close together in his opinion to try a VBAC. I was totally OK with that! I was much more calm throughout with her until the end, when he had to do an amnio to check her lungs. That day, when the sonographer--is that a real word--called him in to do the procedure I asked him if he knew for sure how to do it without poking the needle in her head. Sean tried to kick me on top of the table. More head shaking. He's a champ at the whole keeping his cool with hormonal women. My Dr. not Sean. Actually Sean is too. He has three sisters. I picked a good one.

Okay the real reason he mentioned tying my tubes is that because I've had gestational diabetes with the other two and it got worse with Charlie. I'm a "high risk" pregnant person. Much extra monitoring, rules, office visits, specialists, neonatal people in the delivery, etc. Not saying he doesn't love seeing me twice or three times a week there at the end, clearly he does. It simply puts the babies at risk for a few things before and during birth and it puts me at much higher risk for developing Type II diabetes later. My endocrinologist said having more kids adds to my risk factor every time I'm pregnant. First baby was 30 %, second another 40 %, etc. For you diabetics, this is an every day part of your life. I am in awe of how you keep it all together and I admire you. I do not want to be part of your circle and I'm going to do what I can to fight it off. With Ty I was on one kind of insulin. With Charlie it took two different kinds, five shots a day. If you have kept up with this blog at all you know I'm prone to forgetting things. Forgetting phones, diapers, or dates is one thing. Forgetting insulin is another.

Okay so back to the jeans. Aren't they cute? They would up my cool factor for sure.

Don't Send Your Resume Just Yet

**Update too short for a new post and I'm ready for a nap**

Took both kids to the Dr. this morning (with help from Sean since he's home :)) Ty has a sinus infection and Charlie has a virus unless the strep test comes back after two days positive. Our Dr. thought she might have a UTI so they used a cathetor--one of you nurse types teach me how to spell that--to get a urine sample. That test was negative...Poor Charlie had a rough morning. Lots of videos and cuddling on the horizon.

I'm beginning to think I'm not good for babysitters. I've only had them for a few years but we've managed to make things hard for them--bad timing, bad circumstances, etc. I've already locked one out of the house while she had both kids (sorry Katelyn!), left one without a bottle in the house, forgotten to pay another, and today a poor girl had to break what I'm sure is a rule for her and call me while we were out to come home. Charlie is teething so she's been unusually whiny and clingy but seemed fine. Apparently she woke up from her nap really fussy and had thrown up three times before the babysitter called me--so glad she did--so I told her she did the right thing. Sarah, you did the right thing! She felt hot so I took her fever and she had 102.5. I just got home from the ped. after hours place and after convincing them that my pediatrician really DOES exist even though she works in the faraway land of Irving, the Dr. looked Charlie over. She guessed it was strep but the test was negative...if she's not better tomorrow we're taking her in for another test. Did you know you're supposed to request they grow it (what is IT?) for five days to make sure? Me neither.

Anyway, if you're thinking of getting on our payroll, might want to give it another thought. I guess the fact that I'm not exactly always "together" impacts those around me from time to time. Thank the Lord Sean is home when she is sick this time!