Sunday, March 11, 2012

All things new

This picture has always been my mom's favorite of Sean. It is when Ty was little bitty and it was taken at mom's house on the dock. Mom pointed out that I forgot it in my last post. What's funny about it to me is that what we see is a sweet father/son moment. When I showed Sean right after I took it though he laughed and said, "All I was thinking was how cold it was gonna be if I had to jump in there after him of he fell in. I kept a pretty good grip on him because of it. I wasn't really reaching him about life or anything."

Y'all, it's things like this that God gives me now. Things I can tell the kids later, and they help me now. He was always thinking something funny.

Thank you for keeping in touch with me. When it's a particularly bad day God prompts people to come alongside me to help. I'm so thankful I'm not alone. Thursday was hard for lots of reasons. I knew it would be hard. Usually when I know a hard day is coming it's not as hard. Make sense? The out-of-nowhere hard days are intense. But Thursday I anticipated it and there it was: a hard day. The girls had "Donuts with dad" at mdo. My dad and Sean's dad planned to come. The girls were thrilled. Charlie said, "Well Pops and Popeye are coming since Daddy can't come since he lives so far away in Heaven now. Mom are there donuts in Heaven?" That was that. Her thoughts went from Daddy to donuts and mine went from Daddy to despair.

How much easier it would be if he was just here for that day! Immediately after we left the school God reminded me, though, that my kids aren't the only ones who didn't have a daddy there. I'm not the only momma facing the future as a single parent. Everywhere I look there are parents thinking similar thoughts-"am I doing enough to fill the void, will they suffer, how can I do this on my own?" All normal things to think about.

And like I said, I'm not alone. My kids have many cheerleaders. They have family, friends, teachers, neighbors, and even strangers praying for them. And so do I. God has provided unimaginable comfort and peace these last few months. He's held me together and held on tight. I'm gonna get through this with Him. My family and I are so grateful for the support around us. Thanks y'all.


Carley said...

Hi from Israel! 1st time on internet in 10 days but at least we've gotten to text! I love all the pictures. Sean was definately funny and definately an amazing daddy and hubby! We miss him. Love you friend and miss you! See you soon....when I am back in the same country as you!

ConnieMomaLightner said...

Thinking of you daily and praying for you often. Wish I could do more.

Emily said...

Always praying for you, you are doing an amazing job, if you and the kids ever want to field trip to College Station, come on! :)