Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Galveston was perfect last weekend. We stayed at the Moody Gardens hotel (a first) and the kids think its the best trip they've ever been on. A hotel with its own water park AND aquarium is almost too much happiness for them to bear. Plus they didn't have to fly to get there. By them I mean me of course. My latest goal is to start saving and preparing for a big trip. My favorite place I've ever been is Italy and I want to go back and apparently you have to fly there.

On that note, I have a few questions to answer from emails I've gotten these last few weeks. I'll answer any questions that aren't too overwhelming or inappropriate here in the interest of time. My kids hate it when I'm on my phone--still how I write most posts--and I'm trying to listen to them. If I answer emails it's usually late at night and LORD KNOWS thats not my best time as far as coherent thought. Anyway, a few answers:

Going places where we used to live is hard but it's getting easier. I feel like its important for the kids to see and remember places with their dad so I take them and we talk about him. It causes setbacks for them sometimes but I still think its right to do it.

I joined the church I grew up in a few weeks ago and the kids are loving it. It's a church full of people who love on my kids and help me with them. It felt like coming home in the best way when I came back. People often ask what denomination I am and my answer is always that I believe that Christ is alive and accessible to all who call to Him. The church I'm now a member of (again) is Baptist. I don't get wrapped up in arguing about denominations though-in fact I get irritated and leave those kinds of conversations these days.

I believe that Sean is in Heaven, even though he took his own life. I believe that the moment he, in anguish and confusion, did what he did, was followed by him opening his eyes and seeing Jesus. I believe this because like Acts 16:31 says, "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shall be saved." I believe that salvation is real and it isn't based on anything that we do or don't do. Or might do in the future or may have done in the past. It's about believing that Christ is who He says He is and taking Him at His Word. That's it. He died to pay the price for my sins so I could live forever with God. He is love, complete and faithful. Whew. I feel better.

Ty is loving school. And so am I.

I still have the cats but they're starting to irritate me. Apparently cats like to scratch things, especially leather things. They kinda drive me crazy. "How's Max?" is a favorite question around here and I have great news:

He doesn't live with me anymore. He lives with my parents now and he's content and settled. Honestly it's a weird relationship I have with Max. He was Sean's dog through and through. At first he brought me a lot of comfort but over time I think watching him run to the back door every time it opened brought me more pain and frustration than comfort. Max is smarter than I give him credit for and he misses Sean. As much as I love dogs I can't bear having another person here who hopes Sean will walk through that back door. Well, and Max destroys things. Lots of things.

Exhibit A

Exhibits B-Z are available on my phone for your viewing pleasure. Max is a toot. But he's a well cared for toot now. I owe my parents something huge for taking him on.

Last question answered tonight and it's off to bed since this whole school things has wiped us out. I ask for help often and rely on it to keep things rolling. I am a single parent now, yes, but I have help. Sometimes paid sitters, sometimes family. Sometimes friends (I pay them in snacks.) Thankfully I'm able to keep my focus on the kids and in time I'll go back to counseling. Right now my license is frozen, (no continuing Ed) and let's just put it out there...I'm in no position to counsel anyway right now. I'd cry more than my clients! In time I hope to go back, though I'm not sure in what capacity or where.

Okay y'all I'm done. I'm fixing to turn into a pumpkin or whatever.


Bonnie said...

I love your honesty and admire you SO much for what you are doing...I TRULY know, it's the hardest thing EVER1!!!!! I'm still praying for you often!!

We Three Smiths + 1 said...

I love your honesty too, Mar! I hope you or anyone for that matter do not take this the wrong way...but people can be nosy! I can't believe some of the things people email you...YOU are amazing for answering and always putting everything out on the table. Love you, friend!!

Mary said...

Thank you Bonnie. You are a great encouragement to me, not just because you've lived through this :)

Carley said...

Hey Friend! Have the house to myself this morning so I am catching up on blogs! I am with Joy, I can't believe some of the things people ask you. I would probably reply "non of your business" but you are amaing for taking the time and heart to answering. Love you!

Allison said...

Love this post. Love it. Wish everyone could read it and just take it all in.