Howdy those of you who have asked me why I haven't posted. Both of you :) I've been here settling back in to the routine without Sean...he had vacation and I got totally spoiled! I remember now why I am so tired at bedtime when he travels. All the energy I stored up for the past two weeks has been put to good use the last two days.
Last week I started a new Bible study at our church and I have loved it. It's called Mom 2 Mom and you can easily imagine what we talk about and ask for prayer about by the title. Last week Blair from "Facts of Life" spoke-real name Lisa Whelchel-and she was hilarious and warm and just full of ideas for how to discipline your kids while hopefully teaching them something about who God is in the process. That's a lame synopsis but she was great! Today was the second meeting and we started the actual study, sat in small groups, etc. We are doing Kay Arthur's study called "Lord, I Want to Know You," and today the leader asked what words we think of when we try to describe God. Near the end of the descriptions (popcorn style) a woman said, "The God of Right Now." What a true statement. The Beginning and the End. The Alpha and Omega. We know this/these parts but how valuable to remind ourselves that the right now, what we're in, often longing to get out of, is where He is.
Do you ever sit and pray for things to fast-forward? I know we all think back and wonder how things would have turned out "if only..." but do you do the opposite too? Lord, bring us through this to the other side quickly, remove this quickly, heal this quickly...We wonder how it's possible to overlook little blessings and answered prayers along the way but it's because we're forgetting to say, "Thank You, Lord, that I am not alone RIGHT NOW because You are here." I'm not preaching I'm recounting what I learned today! During our group we also talked about the times that we have claimed God's name and found ourselves helped, calmed, restored. I told my group about my trip last week and how saying God's name helped me.
It happened on the plane. It always happens on the plane. I don't like flying. I won't say I hate it because I want to like it a whole lot and get so anxious that I can't. The desire is there but there's a HUGE hurdle in front of me the whole time I'm in the air. My husband flies for a living. I have seen charts, videos, and simulations that disprove what I am afraid of: the turbulence will be so bad that one of the wings will fall off and we'll in turn fall out of the sky. Don't ask me why I'm only afraid of that and not taking off or landing because I don't have a good answer for you. It makes no sense but it gives some insight into why I am always up for a long road trip instead of a short flight. Do I worry about Sean while he is working? Nope. I never worry because I know he is very thorough. I never worry about the pilots actually because it has nothing to do with confidence in them. Are you following the pattern of absurdity?
I start sweating, heart-pounding anxiety "episodes," not true anxiety attacks as I learned about them in school, the second we hit turbulence. If you've ever sat beside me on a flight you've seen it and probably laughed a little even if you tried to comfort me...thank you for that, by the way...but it doesn't help. Even Sean telling me exactly what is happening doesn't help me. I have started praying throughout the whole ordeal and it does help. Doesn't go away but it helps. This last week we flew in between thunderstorms (see the picture--the point on the left side of the clouds is the edge of a thunderstorm. Sean taught me!) on our way home and I had LOTS of opportunities during the flight to talk to God about my little condition. You say, "like He cares." Oh yes, my friend, He does! I know that because I know that He doesn't want me to live in fear of anything and fear is a mild description of what I feel during these rough patches. I talk to Him in a whisper and tell Him that I know He made everything I can see from the plane and how beautiful it is, how huge it is and how I'm amazed He can keep it all together. Then I say as many attributes of Him I can think of. In the midst of the fear, I can rest a little bit knowing all that I am saying at the time (and all the time,) is absolutely true. All-knowing, Prince of Peace, Counselor, Mighty, on and on. The things I fear (totally irrational) and even the things that could happen on the plane are not a mystery to Him. Try it if you are fearful of flying, driving after an accident, or even fearful at night in your home.
Ok after all of that serious stuff I also have a story about what happened at home while we were in CA. Alas, both kids are crying (nap time,) so I'll write about it later. It involves my mom, singing, and the Waxahachie Fire Department.