Monday, September 17, 2012

Good morning

Yesterday I admitted some struggles to mom. They have been only mine to carry, only my burden. And they have weighed on me and robbed me of the hope that has kept me going. Once I told her about them I felt like I could beat them. Challenges related to how I spend money, how I look, and how I feel about how I look had me trapped. And life is too precious to feel trapped.

Admitting stuff like this is freeing, and telling satan "NO" gives God the room to work. Just what He's trying to work on I'm not sure but apparently it's related to feeling worth in the midst of rejection. I have such a burden to share everything that I'm learning since almost every woman has gone through some sort of body image stuff.

I'm writing this from my kitchen table, where I just ate breakfast with my girls. They are learning about worth from me, it's just how it works right now. I relied on Sean to compliment them, (uhh and maybe me,) but I can teach them about true beauty and their worth. Sometimes I think, "How will I fill that role, how can I learn the things he did, and for the love of all that is good and right how do you put training wheels on bikes?" Yes, some things a man just inherently knows it seems! But I can learn more about my own worth in God's eyes and teach them what I learn. That I can do. Training wheels, well, I have Dad and some friends' husbands who can help with the man stuff. That reminds me I've gotta take my car to the shop to get fixed. I'm super excited about that.

What is it we used to say when we were little? In opposite world? Yep that's it.

You're welcome.


Lindsay Wagner said...

Love you Mary! I struggle with being transparent with my struggles and it is always is better to share so we don't have to do it alone!!! Good for you!

Mary said...

Love you too friend!

We Three Smiths + 1 said...

For the record... I think you are beautiful!!! Love you, Mar!!