Friday, November 20, 2009

Just in time

This is what happened yesterday.

I woke up. Kids woke up. All three had pooped. You're welcome.Got everybody dressed. Got Ty's lunch packed. Plain wheat spaghetti, crackers, and vanilla wafers. Don't judge me. Loaded car with Ty's school stuff, leaving his nap mat out since my plan was to pick him up early to meet a delivery truck-delivering nothing too exciting-at home. Told Ty to go get in the car and then Charlie, (garage door still shut, so don't worry about their safety) and went to get Joy upstairs, who was crying because she was waiting for her turn to be nurtured. Third child. Bless her heart.

Walked out to the garage to find the big kids had-alas-OBEYED-and gotten in the car. Man I'm a good parent. As I got closer to the car, however, I saw what was really happening.

Charlie was sitting in her seat eating a day-old sucker. It was 8:30 am. Ty was shoving quarters into the CD player. Rapid-fire. Looking at me with one eye and watching his experiment with the other one.

We were right on time to leave for school after some disciplinary action on my part and we dropped Ty off. I was not sad to send him if you were wondering. Got home and put Joy down for a nap which never actually happened.

Called Best Buy. "Can you help me?" "No ma'am we can't fix that." Hmmm. Called the dealership. "Can you help me?" "Sure. We would have to totally replace it." "How much would that cost?" "Around a thousand."

Excuse me what?

I said that too by the way.

Said "No thank you," and hung up.

Fed Charlie. Fed Joy. Again. Third bottle for the day and it was, by this time, 11:00. What is her deal? Oh yeah, she did just have surgery and if a bottle calms her down then great. Phone rang. It was the delivery guys. They said they would now be there at noon instead of one.

Lumped plan A and left immediately to pick Ty up. Ran down all hallways at school and blurted out, "Happy Thanksgiving!" to his teacher. I think.

Drove home very fast, (by now it was 12:04 pm) and my phone rang. It was Sean--who was aware of the mornings' events. "Are you close? The guys are there." "I'm on it. Sitting at the last light," I said. Heard Ty choke on his lunch that I'd thrown to him in the back for the ride home.

"You know what would be perfect, (still talking to Sean,)"For Ty to throw up right now."

And then he did.

As I came to a stop in front of my house.

Wow. It really happened. What are the odds? No time to stop, the delivery guys were standing there on their phones with their boss making plans to leave so I jumped out and let them in. All three kids started crying. "MOOOMMMMMMYYY!"

Once the guys left and I had cleaned the car, Ty, and myself, I put them all to bed and went to get the mail.

Right on top was my Parenting magazine. Just in time.


Julie said...

Oh, dude!! What a day!

I read the 2nd to last paragraph wrong...I thought you said you put them to bed and went to the MALL.

I was like, girl you've got some courage! I need some of that!

I'll read your parenting magazine!

Sarah Sharp said...

Oh my. You just made me tired.

Miss Mommy said...

You are hilarious. I am sorry.